In truth, I've had some pretty amazing things happen in the past week. Sometimes I must remind myself that if I truly need something, the world will make it happen. I don't mean this in any kind of material or monetary sense. Most of the time in my case it comes in the form of community, healing and friendship.
My journey this week has mostly been about my being a woman. Genetically I am female but the concept of being a woman, especially post-puberty has always been a strange one for me. I was fortunate to grow up in a pretty egalitarian Jewish school so there has always been a spiritual aspect of womanhood. Even this was a little confusing since I could read Torah and lead services but there were still jerks who refused to show me how to wrap t'fillin the Sphardic way because I was a girl.
I've always been good at almost every subject in school so I never thought to discriminate what is and isn't a good field for "girls" because I'd thought it was just based on merit. I never had any particular problems in Theatre during my years studying that because it is also a very egalitarian field with a great acceptance of the odd.
And then I get a hair up my ass to study science. Geology in particular is such a new field (relatively) that, at least at the Great American University where I attended last year, over half the department are women. Again, I think this aspect is pure luck.
But I'm learning more and more that in other STEM majors this is not at all the case. I went to a conference this weekend of women in STEM majors celebrating not being robots who sacrifice their gender identity to be in male dominated fields but figuring out how to change the archetypes and actually bring women in science, not just around it. The specifics of the conference were to provide support and encouragement to go for higher degrees such as masters and PhD's but the impact went far beyond that. We did a team-building exercise where we built a prosthetic hand (would highly recommend this if you're in the corporate sector because there's an actual product at the end) for victims of land-mine accidents. We worked with a cosmic healer and also a woman who basically says "fuck you" to anyone in opposition to her and gets shit done. I should mention that by "gets shit done" I mean she heads one of the most successful Biotech Grad Departments in California, which probably means the country.
I think the story that touched me most was one woman who got her acceptance letter for her PhD the same day she discovered she was pregnant. She said that she had to teach the department the laws because they didn't know what maternity leave was. I think this is sad in a couple ways, beyond the obvious that they think women in their department aren't allowed to have a family. It also saddens me that they probably don't have paternity leave either which unfairly puts a lot more burden on new fathers who have to work and then go home and be sleep deprived because you never get a rest with a new baby. So, in general, these policies make it stupidly hard to have a family, increasing the problem that smart people can or don't like (for one reason or another) procreating. The modern concept of family is hard enough to ponder but it's impossible if you know there will not be sufficient support from...anywhere.
But overall, this conference was beautiful. Being in a room full of people who non-judgementally support you as a human being and support your academic endeavors is one of the best feelings in the whole world. Even just being in a room with one person who supports you in all ways is special. I hope that you can experience this feeling very soon if you're not alreay.
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BBQ Beans with Mac N Cheese (portion for one person, two days)
I will literally eat this repeatedly until I get sick of it, which is pretty uncommon for me.
Bean part:
1/4 c. dry beans. Use Pinto, Red, Anasazi or even White. But Pinto and Anasazi are best.
1-2 Bay leaves
1/2-1 tsp Better Than Bullion
Trader Joe's BBQ Sauce
To cook beans (I think I've written this before, so pardon me): Wash, sort. Soak overnight. Maybe put an asprin in to reduce bean-fart gas. Make sure you cover the beans with like, 2 inches of water when you soak, they grow up so fast.
When nice and plump in morning, rinse with running water then put in crock pot with the bay leaves and Better Than Bullion (you might want to dissolve this separately with some hot water. Cover the beans with a couple inches of water and leave on low while you go to your classes (6 hrs, ish). Beans should be pretty much falling apart or at least tender when you fish them out.
When you go to heat up the beans in a pan, add in the BBQ sauce from TJ's and enjoy!
To cook mac'n'cheese:
1/4 cup dry pasta if it's small, closer to 1/2 c if it's big pasta
about 1/3 of a knuckle wide slice of butter
a couple splashes of milk
maaaaybe a teaspoon of flour, but add only what you need.
Boil water for pasta. As that comes to boil, grate a hunk of cheese. I find a sharp or stinky cheese works well, anything from cheddar to parm to things with dark moldybits. Anyway, just make sure the cheese is small and thin, easy to melt. Maybe about a handful of cheese or two at the end. When water boils, throw in pasta, about 1/4 cup or less.
Once pasta is cooked, drain it and leave in colander for a quick minute. Cut about 1/2 TBSP butter and melt in the pot. Pour in about 2 TBSP at most milk. It should be on medium or low heat, do not boil. Add in cheese slowly, making a melty mess. You should add more butter and milk if it looks too chunky. Finally, if you've put in too much milk, sprinkle (very lightly) a little flour so that it thickens to the consistency of sticking to back of spoon.
Incorporate your pasta and YUM!!!!
This song is from my best friend Good Panda. I thought it fitting around the High Holy Days.
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