As today’s title might inspire your imagination…I am a
little tardy writing this post. I still intend to publish every Sunday, but I
had an extraordinarily busy weekend. And I am human. And I am tired.
This weekend I went to the Key Route City, which is where
I’d been living for nearly 4 years prior to coming to TLoTH (The Lab on The
Hill). For those of you just tuning into my blog or didn’t know this particular
detail, PartnerPenguin and I kept our apartment in Key Route City. We’d
previously been sub-letting it to Good Panda but she is off being fancy again
so PartnerPenguin is living there for right now. I cannot describe how happy
and relieved I was after 12 hours of travelling to come HOME. We have this chandelier
that has caused us much trouble over the past year but damn was I glad to see
that stupid light fixture. Being in bed with my loved one proved some of the
best sleep I’ve had in weeks and I already miss it.
Thursday was the day I flew. Ended work a bit early so I
could drive the hour and a half to the nearest runway that passes for an
international airport. After flying out LAX, PHL, SFO, PHX and OHare for so
long, I forgot that small airports exist. Ugh. Anyway, I had a layover. No
biggie. We board the second flight and everything’s groovy and we’re out on the
tarmac and… one of our engines failed. I thanked every deity that it happened
on the ground so I can complain about it instead of being dead. So anyway, I
got into my destination so late that I had to take a taxi. I don’t recommend
it.
Friday PartnerPenguin and I kinda spent the whole day on a
date. We walked and talked and walked and talked and then sat on some grass and
people watched. I think the biggest difference about the Key Route City and
TLoTH stood out to me while people watching.
Mixed race couples.
Couples and families. Lesbians. Gay men. FRIENDS. It seemed
almost that every group of people we saw go by were heterochromatic in nature.
And no one gave a flying fuck. Everyone was enjoying a lovely sunny day by the
lake. Ethnicities from the world over were represented in the passerby, and
most importantly: it wasn’t a deal.
I came of age in Philadelphia and there are certain things I
can’t shake about leaving that magnificent, smelly, cobble stoned city. I feel
most comfortable in a city when people who look different surround me and I can
learn their stories. I have a very difficult time in segregated environments
where xenophobia and classism prevents me from regularly interacting with
different types of people. This weekend, it hit me hard that I cannot sustain
long-term residence in a place like TLoTH. I take it like a very long field
season with fabulous accommodations, but this place is not and cannot be my
home.
PartnerPenguin is brilliant and we took the bus instead of
the train (which runs in a tunnel underground) into The City. The old bridge is
almost gone and the skyline is changing faster than an instantaneous orogeny.
New and shiny rich people colonies are sprouting out of the ground like
beanstalks, but with the giants guarding treasure on the inside instead of high
in the skies. I wonder if Jack and the Beanstalk was really a ridiculously
prophetic tale about a kid who time travels into the future and meets several
tall Googlers. Then PartnerPenguin took me out to dinner at a grilled cheese
place because he knows how to please a woman. Then we went to shul and hugged
our friends and sang “Adon Olam” to the tune of “America the Beautiful.” For
those of you who aren’t familiar, “Adon Olam” is the most versatile Jewish
prayer and can be sung to literally all pop songs common in Western
civilization.
From there we used a niche taxi service to take us to the
other end of the City. Because you don’t hail cabs with a hand out in the
street anymore: it’s subtler and involves smart-phones.
We spent the rest of the evening with our favorite triad.
For those reading who aren’t familiar with ethical non-monogamy or polyamory,
this isn’t that uncommon in The City or even the Key Route City. In this case,
our friends are a woman and her two men. She is a role model in
eloquence and her husband is a fabulous photographer. The other friend is a
fastidious programming nerd with a bajillion books. Both men are from India and
always give excellent insight on their experiences of being brown in tech in
America. Around 2 am, I had a really important insight. We were talking about
all of the informal research I have been doing to create this talk. And then it
clicked.
I can, and should, be doing this for money. I am an excellent communicator of my science and I
do an OK job at communicating science in general. I am uniquely skilled and
might be in the perfect position to be an instigator of discussion and
effective change in diversity in STEM academia. And best of all, I may not
actually need a PhD to do it.
This is a freshly hatched idea so please be respectful that
it is fragile. Please do not knock me too hard before I fully form and put into
words what exactly I’d like to do. But also, please do not hesitate to use this
opportunity to connect me with people. I would like to see what a professional
in this field does, and whether it really is something I wish to pursue. I work
best talking to people and investigating things in an in-person kind of way.
* * *
The rest of the weekend was full of lovely interactions with
wonderful people. I attended a proper 4th of July BBQ and ate too
much food like a good American. But some of it was gelato, does that still
count if it’s produced here?
Anyway, we had a get-together at our place in the Key Route
City. Friends from near and far came by, which is odd because no one seemed to
see my invitation on Facebook. Ah well, fuck Facebook anyway. I bought ALL THE
SUSHI for dinner and mainlined Miso soup all night while alternately shouting
“FISH EXISTS!” and putting more sushi in my mouth. Good times. Everyone else
ate Dinobuddies and cupcakes that turned your teeth blue. I think I got the
better dinner. I think more hostesses should close their parties the way I did:
“Y’all look tired and I need to get laid. Go home.”
* * *
Sunday was totally fun-day for PartnerPenguin and me. We got
to watch The Little Bear for the middle of the day. Two things surprised me
about this 1:2 set of interactions. One: She was extraordinarily emotionally expressive,
even by adult standards. She is sad and angry and very angry about having to
move. She doesn’t know where all of her stuffed animals are
going to live. She is worried about how her new living arrangement is going to
be, comfort wise. To be honest, if more adults could be as precise with their
emotions followed by specific followup on why they were feeling those feelings,
I think the world would be a much better place. But it was a small exercise in
compassion to quietly sit on a bed with a young child and let her feel while
assuring her those feelings were valid. I truly appreciated the experience.
The second surprise was her lecturing us about flushing
after only peeing because there’s a drought and that’s not good for the
environment.
She’s four.
I have a little more hope for humanity.
We took her to a street fair where she went on rides and got
her face painted. After a fashion, we returned her to her parents and then got
to go explore the fair. I could not have wished for a more concentrated event
that perfectly summed up all the things I love about living in the Key Route
City. There were local and state politicians, many many chiropractic, massage
and tarot booths, ethnic food stands of at least 20 nationalities, a stay-at-home-dad who designs baby and kid clothes, a guy who salvages and
reprints random old photos from 1910-70, several gourd instrument sellers and
free art for kids. The live stages had performers including aerial artists, ska/reggae/rock
cover bands and live rappers. I love this city so much. I have so much love in
my heart I cannot bear it sometimes.
* * *
Monday was only a morning in town. I had breakfast with my
boss from my previous job. I feel the best way to describe our work
relationship was that another coworker tagged me in a picture on Facebook but
when I visited the page I was a picture of him eating a cake made with
chocolate I donated. We talked about science, his retirement, my career
trajectory, and commiserated about certain people who make our lives more
difficult than they need to be. It was in a restaurant owned by a famous person
and the music was a direct emotional link to my 15-year-old self. It’s
astounding how different and same of a person I am, ten years later.
A last quick mini-date with PartnerPenguin brought us to a
bank-turned coffee shop with an espresso repair shop behind what used to be the
tellers’ counter. I got some espresso for co-workers who caffeinate me in the
morning, like I will need tomorrow after writing this.
Oh and one thing I forgot to mention. I GOT A PIN UP
CALENDAR OF ACCORDIAN PLAYERS WITH AN ACCOMPANYING CD WITH ALL OF THEIR MUSIC.
That was out of order, but you needed to know and be jealous.
And with that, I’ll sign off with a song that just so
happened to start my day on the road on Monday. I could think of no more
perfect traveling song.
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