A Little Bit of Heartbreak, a Little Recovery a Little Bit of Career Advancement

Heartbreak:

I have been involved in LGBT rights/activism/discussions since I was at least 15. I wasn’t always sure what I was doing, but I was there and I was loud. June has been rougher than I expected because last year I went to one of the oldest and biggest Pride parades in existence and this year I did nothing.

However, even more painful than missing the parade (which to be honest was super overwhelming) is missing Pride Shabbat. Our home shul (synagogue) was established as an LGBT shul. Pride Shabbat is the second most attended event of the year, after High Holy Days. EVERYONE is there. EVERYONE is so so so so happy to be there. For the past two years, I have been privileged to sing in the choir for this joyous event. One year the Cantor even wore 6in heels and sang “Adon Olam” to Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive”

Missing this Shabbat is far more painful than I anticipated.

But that event isn’t even until next week. This week, I missed another milestone. Our Rabbi (14 years with the congregation) had her last Shabbat as our Rabbi. I’ve had a year and half to contemplate this but it still really really hurt to not be there on her final day as our Rabbi. On the other hand, I am so happy that she will pursue other things and she will continue to be an amazing person to everyone she encounters.

I reasoned with myself throughout the week that these feels were OK to have but it was a good thing that I would be spending time in a National Park so I would have the ability and space necessary to process all of them. In less than a week, I had planned a three-day trip for ten people to go into one of the next states over and camp. I had found enough gear and planned out the meals, I made loose itineraries to multiple National Parks and Monuments so we could see all there was to see.

We were supposed to leave Friday morning. By Thursday morning, as sometimes happens, 6/10 people had to back out due to unforeseen circumstances. The last 4 people and their gear would have had to travel in our hatchback that is roomy but not too big. We decided to discard the whole plan and try another time. Thank goodness for Silicon Valley the show because Thursday night found me a lump.

Recovery:

Friday dawned and I found the world to shockingly still exist. Partner Penguin found a really lovely trail full of aspen trees and metamorphic rocks for us to hike. We spent the day alone together and talked through some emotion stuff as well as some pretty damn silly stuff. In case I haven’t said it in a minute, I love that dude. We even found a lean-to!

Friday night we tried a shul in the nearby “city”. We happened upon a confirmation ceremony and I was actually really impressed with some of the topics the 10^th grade kids talked about. Other than that, it was Jumbo-jet Judaism: “Sit down, strap up and get drawn along for the ride.”

Did I mention I missed my shul?

Saturday a couple we know from TLoTH invited us to go hiking nearby. It was actually a super awesome hike and they are great hiking buddies. It rained nearly the whole time but nobody got cranky-pannies and everyone maintained a steadfast positive attitude. Now we know whom to turn to when we would like companions who will (healthily) help push boundaries on workouts.

Career Advancement:

This week was actually really great, professionally, for me. I discovered that TLoTH’s TEDx deadline was approaching and that any employee could give a talk. I am proud of myself that I whipped together and submitted a damn good proposal in two days. Fingers crossed!!

I am continuing to get feedback on my abstract on my work at Big American University. It looks like many mentor figures at TLoTH are behind me to submit it, along with my research at TLoTH to a conference later this year. I unabashedly sat with my boss’s boss’s boss at a briefing this week. She and I have similar senses of humor and she took some time to talk 1:1 after the briefing.

In my own work, I am taking ownership and writing a bunch. I am writing a report for my project which will hopefully inform peer reviewers and in house folks about what we’re doing and why. And most importantly: is it working? And shall we continue?

I really hope to make a difference with this project but it’s also eye opening as to what other forces are at play in this situation.

And to close out: here is a video that captures some very important points of the LGBTQAII and Pride issues this month.