Free Hugs

::hugs::

::deep breath::

I am going to start this blog again. I have been in hiding for some time, trying to heal and trying to figure myself out. But I feel like things have gotten to a point where I need to be seen again, heard again and connected again.

My struggle over the past 9 months of unemployment has been one of identity and self discovery. Coming away from TLoTH, I felt like I didn't belong. To be honest, I'm still don’t understand where I can find work that treats me with assumed competence, respect as an equal and where I know they will acknowledge my contributions.

Since the election I have gone back to doing something I haven’t done in a very long time: holding a sign that says “Free Hugs” and giving people hugs. It started on election day and since then I’ve been mostly standing in front of the City Hall of Key Route City. This act of resistance and protest contrasts many other folks very legitimate decision to march en mass. Don’t get me wrong, I am angry. I am hurt. I am afraid. But I also know that I have the capacity for empathy and compassion.

Part of what inspired me to write today was a conversation I had last night with some friends. We touched on the idea that certain sections of liberals are having difficulty communicating with people in opposition to themselves.

This is a similar issue I have noticed with academic scientists. There is a distance from beginner’s mind, a distance from legitimizing the other people’s perspective that exists among many scientists. In science, there are hierarchies of who is entitled to an opinion. A professor or a senior scientist has more publications on a topic and therefore their opinion on the subject matters more than a novice. This creates a community where individuals are inherently unequal and to become “equal” one must sacrifice their life for a few years to obtain a PhD to hold a legitimate opinion. There is also a competitiveness built into the nature of (limited) scientific funding where there are “winners” and people with “better” ideas.

Scientific knowledge, and subsequently expertise (as the knowledge required to gain expertise is limitedly distributed) are quantifiable, known entities. Everything is count-able. As Brene Brown refers to in her Huston TEDx talk, “If you can’t measure it, it doesn’t exist.”

And I use Dr. Brown specifically because what I have been thinking and acting and talking about the most recently has been empathy. (She has a great video differentiating between sympathy and empathy.) Empathy is less quantifiable than what people studying hard science tend to be willing to accept. It is not quantifiable, so therefore much of the scientific community pretends it doesn’t exist.

The big sticking point is that there are no "winners" or "better" with empathy or compassion. People outside the scientific community hold opinions and do not understand/get upset when they are dismissed by academics. People within the scientific community tend to just assume ignorance and discount what those outside academia say. It is fine to discredit an idea on the basis of merit within academia, because everyone in the community agrees upon what "merit" means and agrees that certain proof is required for an idea to hold merit. Outside of this community, however, many others feel like their opinions are equally valid and just dismissed by the elite because they're haughty and full of themselves.

In my view, empathy is the only way. Compassion for people who are scared for their lives, for the lives of their families, for the future of their children is what is currently needed. There is also compassion needed for those celebrating. The people who wholeheartedly supported the President-Elect into office need to be embraced as well. Reminding everyone that those around them are human is important. When we all know those around us are human, we will be better equipped to stand up if/when violence or hate-actions occur.

In order to hold this view, I have need to acknowledge my own privilege. PartnerPenguin has a job that ensures we stay afloat. My basic needs are met every day. I am working solidly at the third rung in Maslow’s triangle. I feel shame in my comfort but also power in being able to give out hugs on a regular basis. (Also to note: I am kind but not stupid. I have steel toed boots when I go out in case anything goes awry.) My decision to act non-violently and in my own time is somewhat part of my upbringing and somewhat due to my current position of privilege.

So that’s how I’ve been this past week. What have you been up to?

And, as usual, a song. Today it’s Of Montreal’s “It’s Different for Girls”