Sunday, May 17, 2015

Diversifying the Friend Portfolio

Since this is the boring exposition portion of my time here at The Lab on The Hill (TLoTH), I will take this opportunity to introduce the characters that will likely be important in the coming year. I could be grievously wrong about their importance so we’ll see what happens together!


The following is partially inspired by this brief gem of television history:


Cast List:


Chinese MomBoss
Y’know when you’ve read about a concept and you think you’ve seen it in action but then you see someone who COMPLETELY embodies the concept and you realize how wrong everyone else has been? Chinese MomBoss is like that. She exemplifies what the word “mentor” really means. She is interested in helping all of her students further their careers while taking in feedback about what can be done to help her science. Although she is an infrequent presence in the lab, she is a powerful one and I look forward to learning from her this year.

Midwest MomBoss
Midwest MomBoss is who my aunt would be if she were a scientist. She has adorably quaint sayings and anthropomorphizes everything. She is fastidiously organized and doesn’t believe that time should ever be wasted. Hyacinth (see below) and me spend most of our days with Midwest MomBoss so we get to know her pretty well. She started cross-fit this month, so we’ll see if she hulks up soon.

Africa’s #1 Badass Geologist
As far as badasses go, this dude is tops. I recently told him that he should lecture at universities just so he could verbally whoop those little entitled Freshmen into shape. Africa’s #1 Badass Geologist went through some pretty intense stuff to get where he is, but damn does he deserve the prestige. The thing I like most about him though is that he is completely un-self-involved and wants to know about my life and my research. He’s quick to correct me on mineralogy and make jokes. His office has these vinyl hangings of Nature magazines his work’s been featured in. Dude’s a badass.

Lunch/Office Buddy
My L/O Buddy is pretty swell. She’s super smart in microbiology and chemistry. I feel she has a very healthy work/life balance and I really admire her for that. She shows us videos of her little baby eating solid food for the first time and laughing maniacally at a bottle of ketchup being flipped repeatedly. She thinks I’m well read and I think she’s well travelled. 

The Patron Saint of Rock Climbing
I’m going to assume this dude is a saint because I have literally never seen him get mad. He sits in my office-area when he’s not science-ing on microbial masses that we collectively call “bugs”. The bugs smell bad and he mostly sits in noisy rooms measuring out micrograms of stuff. He’s also got a four-year-old daughter who’s super cute and put their cat on time-out while we visited to pick up some gently used dishware. He gives good insight on what it’s like to be a tech in a world filled with prima donna scientists.

Hyacinth
Hyacinth is my day-in-day-out work buddy. She’s pretty damn cool and I appreciate that her personality is so opposite mine. She is reserved and listens well. She’s got a kickass taste in music so I’m including a song she showed me recently. We do a lot of jobs that require astonishing amounts of cooperation so I appreciate that she puts up with a lot of my bullshit and works with me anyway. We’re identical as far as the higher-ups are concerned so we often get mistaken for each other. She likes hiking and climbing so we eat wraps together and watch the clouds roll in over the Rift Valley when we have training.


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Outside of work, I have been trying really hard to have a different set of friends. I feel like I work best in living situations where my weekend folks aren’t the same as my workday folks. So here’s some of the weekend crew!

The Enforcer
This lady is the one in charge. She is wonderful because she organizes events and ensures consistency. She is merciless at the game Resistance. She is the kind who comes in and cleans your house till it sparkles if you give her permission. She’s a woman of convictions and enormous amounts of love mixed in with the spices of some healthy sarcasm. The Enforcer is going to be the one who makes us all into family, I’m sure of that.

Excitable Business Engineer
There is a time-bomb of when this man will move to the Bay Area. He currently runs the only operational startup in town. He is chill and tries to appease as many people as he can. But he is a practical man and most of his criticisms are about people sitting on their asses and complaining that they have not hiked to the top of a mountain. He lets us use his office as a kind of nerd-community center.

Dori
Like the fish. Only slightly more human-ish. We have the same exact car as her so obviously we invited her into our social group and are now bosom friends. Because that’s how we roll here, a month and a half in.

Needs a Shave and a Haircut
Designed a pretty interesting and involved deck-building-but-also-fighting game. I simultaneously understood it (not a small feat) and was a little bored with how slow it moved. Hopefully the pace picks up as the rules codify. Then I’d be happy to try it again.

The Unselfish Physicist
In an inwardly spiraling circle-jerk of people doing ground-breaking whatnots and whozie-whatsits, it is hard to find real people to talk to. This man, The Unselfish Physicist, is one of those real people. I have been so grateful to talk for drunken hours about silicon tetrahedra because he was generally interested in mineralogy. He stays home with the kids so his wife and sister-in-law can have a night out. He’s just one of those people who has made this place a little better since I got here.

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