Midsemester Crisis

I have reached that juncture, the one I was afraid of the whole time. I thought it was just because my kitchen was making me gag but removing the trashcan mold and chicken fat (what? why? I don't know) seems to have solved that problem. Though, I still think my diet of breakfast sausage, peanut butter and jelly and samosas will return my tummy to normal soon enough. I hope.

No, that wasn't what I meant.

There is always this point in the semester where I realize I may or may not make it through. Not physically (though last year I questioned that sometimes), just, will I make it.

I took my second Physics midterm this morning. I was really proud of myself because I had studied a lot more, I had read the textbook thoroughly. I wrote what seemed sensible on my "cheat" sheet.

And then I got my ass handed to me. I've taken some decent whoopings; doing midterms at Big American Brand University in their hoity-toity Math department. Even though those were rougher than a blanket of pushpins, I still aced them. But this.....this was priceless.

I should point out that I'm not being a drama queen in this particular instance. If I fail this class, I cannot continue with my major. Physics is so integral to Geology (I'm obviously not Geophysics, but it's still important) that if I fail the class, I cannot continue in the immediate future. I guess that hit me like a piano full of bricks because for the first time I can clearly see a potential failure after 4 1/2 years worth of college. Well, second failure. The first failure was realizing that my initial path of Theatre would not get me anywhere. That hurt too.

It made me do some serious thinking today while The Little Bear threw tantrums and weeble-wobbles at me. What enabled me to get through those math classes? Mah Nishtana this class? Conceptually, it's not any harder. In fact, it's easier.

A few things did, all of which I obviously need to implement the hell out of if I wish to get my degree.

*Strong Learning Community*
One of the first things I did in my PreCalc class last year was find an additional class that taught me how to learn Math at Big American Brand University. This was taught by The conductor, an incredibly focused, pertinent and mildly intimidating man in a vest and a fedora. Perhaps it was tough love, but that man certainly was/is dedicated to his teaching. He would also say things like "Yeah...[some attractive actor] is ok but he's no Antonio Banderrrez." and "Math math math math!" (which literally startled me so badly I jumped and screamed).
He created a co-operative learning environment the likes of which I have never encountered. My classmates, despite being 5 years younger than me, worked together with me as a team pulling upwards of 20 hours a week studying together. The friends I made in that learning space are still some of my most inspiring and foundational friends.

PartnerPenguin and I were talking about it and Craptastic Colleges (please correct me if I'm wrong) have literally no student services. I have been tutoring this guy in trig because the tutors can only spend 15 minutes with a single student. The tutoring room used to be the Math Lab but now it's all Science studies and they don't know trig. It falls upon the students to gather and more importantly if it's a poorly taught class to somehow devine what they are supposed to be learning and teach themselves.

This is not the same as Big American Brand Uni, which isn't a whole lot better, but at least they decisively only teach theory in class and it is explicitly understood that you need to learn everything on your own. Here it is a weird in between where you're supposed to learn on your own but you can ask questions but they kinda get nowhere. Mostly, it seems, because that's where they expect their students to go. (Average grad rate for both schools I'm attending is 16%, average transfer is 8%)

*Clear, Concise and Do-able Planning/Time Management*
Time is finite. Figure out what to do with it.

Agenda planners are often helpful, I imagine smartphones could be too. One of my favorite techniques when I'm overwhelmed is to write out everything (EVERYTHING includes food, prep and eating time) that needs to be done in a 1-2 day period. Write next to it the approximate time you think it will take. I often overestimate, completely, by anywhere between 30 min to an hour, esp with Math or Science homework.
On a separate piece of paper, break down your day from henceforth. I write intervals of an hour at most, usually 30 minutes. Every 20-30 minutes I mandate a small break and every 2 hours or so a real break, usually including food. It is also necessary for me to schedule in walks since that's part of my physical deal but walks are one of the easiest ways to reduce stress and get a little exercise. Usually after 2 days of intensive planning like this, I get a general rhythm that I can work with for about a week, at least.

I also throw myself mini-dance-party breaks with songs like the two here.
Another thing we do is we set a duck alarm to tell us it's time for bed. When things are stressful, it's probably being compounded by lack of sleep and hygiene. So take a shower and go to bed.

*Acceptance of Simplicity*
While talking with someone recently, I thought about how sometimes meals just need to be cooked properly before you add the fancy seasoning. The basics need to be met. They do not always need to be surpassed. But they always need to be met and in my worldview they always need to be met in a manner that provides a strong foundation whether or not seasonings (or upper divs) are added later, when you're more comfortable.

*Clear communication with Partner/Friends/Family of What You're Going Through*
You can't get support if no one knows what's going on. I try to have as much in person interactions with my friends as I can. This means for me riding on buses for a long time but that's ok. Friends are worth it. I picked up Pyschology Today at the store and it confirmed that. In-person friends and strong interpersonal connections help you live better.
Sometimes you may not be coherent and may just need to blurb and blab and have someone ask you what that was all about in the future.

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This recipe was made for Mama and Papa Bear (parents of The Little Bear) in appreciation of letting us borrow their laundry facilities.

Lentil Curry-ish Dish
1 clove garlic, diced
oil
most of 1 onion
Juilliened tomatoes (probably should have used canned diced ones, preferably from Indian food market or just un-seasoned if you don't have one of those)
about a cup of lentils
MDH Chana Dal Masala (brand I bought at an Indian Grocery store, I don't know the differences) I know Patak's is also a good brand, no MSG. PartnerPenguin is allergic to MSG and in general, it's not great for you.

In on pot: boil water. Add lentils, let simmer on low heat for about as long as it takes to watch a movie. Maybe a movie and a couple episodes of Gravity Falls (God I love that show).

You might want to wait at least an hour before doing this step because the lentils take a long time to cook.

In a pan: Warm oil. Add garlic and onions. Caramelize (make transparent but not quite brown) onions, garlic should just smell good but make sure you don't burn it.

Drain lentils, put in pan on simmering (low) heat. You may have to add some fresh water. Add tomatoes and about a tablespoon of the seasoning. You can add more or less, depending on your threshold for spicy. Simmer for about 10 more minutes. Or if you're PartnerPenguin, you simmer them all together for an hour because the lentils weren't done before adding. This option would incorporate the flavor of the onions more. As long as the lentils are cooked, these two steps shouldn't make too much difference.

I might add Sirache if I liked spicy. I'd probably serve over brown rice. (Brown rice is a 1:1.5 ratio rice to water. Boil for 2-5 minutes then let simmer for 40, covered.)