Wednesday, August 9, 2017

The Fifth Season Should Be Required Reading for Geologists


***This post contains spoilers and discussion of difficult material, especially child abuse and murder.***



I am beyond thrilled that in exactly one week the final book in NK Jemisin’s Broken Earth trilogy is going to be released to the general public. This series should be required reading for everyone who calls themselves a geologist, geophysicist or other kind of earth scientist. First of all, it is the only series I have ever read that centers on geology. Not like how mountains are important in The Lord of The Rings series, climaxing at the molten core of Mordor. No. In this series some people are TIED to the land with the gift/curse of orogeny. These orogenes (derogatory term: rogga) are capable of literally moving mountains.

This creates an incredibly intricate and rare thing to occur: Jemisin aggressively does not allow the separation of the doer of science from the scientist as a person. In American science academia, separating the work of a scientist from the health and wellbeing of the scientist themselves is an imperative mechanism upon which STEM practitioners rely to keep discriminatory practices in place. By presenting a world where no such separation can exist, the Broken Earth series shines a light into what it may be like to be a scientist of color.

I mention specifically that this is a racial experience because, as a White woman, this book was the first time I have experienced vicariously what it like to be the victim of a structure based on oppression of “my (the protagonists’)” people. Jemisin accomplishes this tremendous feat by immersing us in an excellently built world with relatable characters and then bombarding her characters with intense personal tragedies.

In the world of the ironically named Stillness, everything has sinister movement just below the surface. Thumbing through Appendix 1 (both books), we get the abridged history of all Fifth Seasons in the Stillness. Many of the Seasons are mentioned throughout the book but none are discussed in great detail because they were long before the living memory of our characters. I particularly love this section because The Seasons are named for of the types of tectonic blowback that would make a planet uninhabitable for 2-100 years.

The specific attention to detail of what would actually happen if a global scale tectonic event occurred allowed me to completely suspend my disbelief in this world. Jemisin didn’t just read a few Amazing Geologist posts and surf around on mindat.org. She thought through what would actually happen if an entire ocean became acidified for 100 years. (This information is terrifyingly relevant.) The series hinges on the opening of a continental rupture the likes of which would make the breakup of Pangea tame and sweet. The environment responds similarly to how we project the Earth would respond to such tectonic upheaval. Across two books I have only found very minor issues with her geologic constructs and I let them go because Jemisin is not a trained geologist and she is human. And humans are allowed to change physics for artistic license sometimes. See: any video game ever.

Starting from this place of incredibly well researched world building I entered into the Broken Earth trilogy able to suspend disbelief to an unusually deep degree. Part of investing in this world, I quickly come to discover, is accepting the systems of oppression that allow The Stillness to “function.” The Sanzed’s crumbling empire is built on the hatred and fear of orogenes. Now, to be somewhat holistic on this viewpoint--orogenes have TREMENDOUS power and it is in fact an orogene who literally severs the continent in half.

The fear of this power is the justification Sanzed uses to completely subjugate, coerce, immobilize and borderline encourage murder of orogenes. The main reason they don’t fully endorse genocide is because they empire seems to know there are non-human entities which will quickly overpower all humans if there were no orogene protectors.

So I am brought along on the journey of several orogene characters and am held witness to the atrocities of their lives. What stands out to me, what I never ever get used to, is the unrelenting violence against children. The rite of passage into the school for orogenes is a cruel trust ceremony where each Guardians breaks the hands of their wards. (Toto, I don’t think we’re at Hogwarts anymore…) I am helpless on the sidelines as the characters witness the murder of their children. I watch parents murder their children. I come to expect the interaction of the Guardian caste to be cold abusers, enticing children to do their villainous (also sometimes murderous) bidding.

I think it is this aspect that has increased my appreciation for certain American Earth communities, particularly Black communities. Within communities of color this level of devastation is real and felt on a scale I cannot understand. Prior to reading the Broken Earth series, I have read about and sometimes marched in Black Lives Matter events. Not being within any community of color myself, I have always been a generic ally without having direct connection to the pain and tragedy behind this movement.

But the murders of kids like Trayvon Martin are the reality that some of my friends and co-workers experience. There was a deeply moving video that went around a while back where Black parents explained to their kids how to act if they were stopped by a police officer. One day a mentor of mine, a brilliant scientist who is a pioneer in their field, told me the gripping story of getting beaten up for driving while Black in America. Even though I have heard these stories, I still don’t have to check the local and national news every day to see if anyone I know directly has been murdered. As Dr. Chandra Prescod-Weinstein mentions in her interview with Ebro being Black in science is still a taboo topic to directly discuss. But in not discussing it, scientists ask members of the Black community to essentially check their identities at the door.

With the Broken Earth series, NK Jemisin opens us to a world of hurt, a world of love, a world of geology that I have never thought possible to understand so intuitively. By refusing to separate the people of the Stillness universe from the ground of the Stillness we see the orogenes perhaps as more whole than we allow ourselves to see each other.

  

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Experiments with Energy

So to start it off I sat down and then the existential dread set in. Yay perfectionism? I am sure you’ve noticed my inconsistency with writing, pretty much since I got back from TLoTH. I’m not really sure where this post is going to go. I am a ball of mush so I’m hoping you’ll just look at the puddle of words and think kindly of me later.

I am not a fan of saying that I’m too busy for things so I need to be more honest with you, my reader base, that I’ve had to prioritize other things recently. Firstly, there have been some weird and bad things happening within my life and community that I’m not interested in making public. If you’re super curious you can ask me about it but realize I may or may not want to respond. That took up a good two months’ worth of brain space so I fell off the bandwagon of writing. </end vaguebooking>

One of the major reasons I haven’t written as much is that I have seen most of you. I have made a concerted effort to meet with each of you, make eye contact, offer a hug if I’m feeling up for it. In the past year, I have travelled extensively: finding myself, finding you, defining how I want to live after spending so much time hurdling myself through time and space without taking notice. I have spent so much time seeing you that I forget you’re not experiencing all of this with me.

Does anyone else get this? There is a point of intimacy with friends and family where I literally forget that another person did not experience an event. Mostly this happens with PartnerPenguin for me, because we’ve been in each others lives so long that I falsely assume he’s experienced all the same things as me. I think that I let myself feel this way about other people because I post so much on Facebook. I know there are many people who see all my posts go by so I feel like it’s almost obsolete to write about my experiences. But by the same token, I only post about positive things (generally) on social media because I am caught in the trap of only presenting the best version of myself publicly.

This ties in to my very real struggle to strike a balance of what to share, what’s over sharing and with what audience is appropriate to share what information with. This can sometimes feel like a daily struggle for me. Oddly, the more positive stuff I have going on in my life this issue intensifies. How do I share my success without building resentment among my peers? How do I remember all of the sensitive subjects for all of my friends so that I’m not boasting and making them feel bad? Do I just recklessly live in complete abundance? I know too well that sometimes you’re up and sometimes you’re down so while I hope my path continues to push solidly upward, I don’t want to alienate those who have been there for me while I’ve been down.


Annnnyyyyyywaaaaaayyyyy

I have continued to network ruthlessly with geologists, engineers, hydrogeologists and botonists, sometimes meeting with three different companies in a day. I’ve gotten a lot of really great and sometimes intense feedback on my resume so now it’s in a state where companies actually read it. In fact, I have an honest to Blog interview next week. In Key Route City. With a company I’d like to work for. Fancy that!

Networking with folks (mostly White people, mostly men) has given me a much better idea of how the field of geology works in practice. It also gives me a much better understanding of how narrow the world of academia was. I had literally been told to leave things off my resume by folks in academia that would have been the one detail that mattered most in private industry. There is a weird social system around ownership in academia that unless something is 100% your project, it doesn’t count at all. This creates very weird mental blocks when I’m trying to own my experiences. “Owning” my work experience and selling myself have been the hardest parts of my pivot to private industry. I think for someone with no history of mental illness this would have been a challenge. My history of anxiety and depression compounded how ambiguously bad I feel about taking more credit for things I’ve done.  It’s possible, just challenging. And I’m super happy that I now have my friends, family and communities that care about me to make sure I am supported in working through my own brain hair-balls.

* * *

Probably the biggest thing that you didn’t know was going on in my life (or maybe you did!) is that due to the ENORMOUS success from my last post…

I STARTED A JAM COMPANY!!!

Wheeeeeee!! This is my logo:


It has been really interesting to go through all the paperwork and seeing all the different agencies but for positive reasons. The Key Route City was, dare I say it, happy to have me start a business. Everyone whom I spoke with was cheerful and energetic and congratulated me. I really like how straightforward the process of starting something so simple as a jam company is. There is a well-paved path with absolutely no off-roading or steep hills.

In my honest opinion the best part of starting a jam company was finding the kitchen I’m going to work in. The Key Route City is an epicenter for innovative co-working--which extends to industrial kitchen co-working. It has felt like the best parts of dating and now I’m super looking forward to the relationship starting. The kitchen I’m going to rent with is owned by a woman in her 30’s who wanted a build a kitchen for her younger self to succeed. Our “intake” conversation was full of laughing and helpful information. I met some of the other tenants of the kitchen who were all nice. There is a snack shop attached to the front of the kitchen so I could potentially partner with some of the bakers in the space to sell jam-toast.

I will soon start on the next level of jam making activities, now that my initial funding goal has been met. In the meantime, my main “website” of sorts is on Facebook and I will leave the GoFundMe open for a while if you’d like to help me financially.


And now to close out with a song! Here is song by a group I’m really excited to see this weekend: Amadou and Mariam! 

Tuesday, July 4, 2017

How to Spend a Day With Friends-Make Jam!

Hello All! Today is going to be a bit different from most of my blogs as it's going to be a step-by-step of how to make jam! Let's take a moment to set up the cast:

Sara Be-That's me! If you get this blog, you probably know me. Probably?
PartnerPenguin-Readers of my blog know and love him, but not nearly as much as I do. He's my partner, we've been together for 9 years and still give people diabetes because we're too sweet.
The Ribald Tweeter- One of my best friends, she and I have known each other for what feels like forever but is, in actual fact, 3 years. She is small and mighty.
The Kinematic DM- The Ribald Tweeter's sigoth (significant other) who helped us in the late stages of the game.


HOW TO MAKE JAM:

1.  Decide you want to make jam. Talk about it with friends and family, make sure you have support. This is not a decision to make lightly. You will be spending the rest of your day, night and into the early hours of tomorrow doing this task. Choose wisely.
2.  Once you have decided to make jam, locate your nearest Sunday. On that Sunday, locate your nearest farmer's market.
3.  Attend your nearest farmers's market 30-45 minutes before closing. This is an important step so you have enough time to taste test all of the vendor's food.
4.  Choose your fruit for jam. This is very dependent on what's in season. You should look for a fruit that is plentiful with multiple vendors. Fruit should be day-of ripe. (This time around we chose strawberries.)
5.  Find a vendor with a lot of end of day stock. Haggle for all of it.
6.  Purchase fruit. Be sure to have cash on hand.
Organic strawberries, 24 quarts. Small size and very very ripe.

7.  Carry fruit home, praising yourself for going to the gym regularly. Trade regularly with PartnerPenguin and wonder the whole walk if you should get a car some day.
8.  Eat lunch.
9.  Review the documentation for the process:
Copyright 1969, produced by Ball Brothers Company
10.  Go to the grocery store and buy pectin, sugar, a lemon for additional acid (strawbs are low acid) and an underripe fruit (to contrast your very ripe strawbs).
My foolish ambitions of "necessary" ingredients
11.  Get home and read that each container of pectin is only good for 2 quarts of strawbs. Also that each 2 quarts require 6-7 cups of sugar.
12.  Decide to do two batches and start first right now.
13.  Friend shows up and everyone agrees that alcohol needs to be procured, post haste, for this venture.
A nice crisp Rosé for a warm day
Tools of the trade: Wine in mugs, paring knives and a computer with which to watch shows.


14.  Set up the cutting environment for two strawberry cutting robots. Place compost bin between robots (you and your friend) and receptacles for berries in your lap.
Our setup. Notice smiles and optimism. This was early on. RT on left, me on right.
15.  Cut berries by lopping off green part and quartering. When berries eventually turn into jam, you want to do as little smushing as possible. Because you're lazy and smushing takes work. Blenders also exist, but I'd caution against them because you could lose volume. When you shuck hundreds of strawbs, you DO NOT want to lose any of them.
Admire your strawbs before you murder them.
16.  Fill up your receptacle with quartered strawberries.

Fill up your bucket. Admire your thighs, they are beautiful.

Serious Recipe Note: We used 4 quart buckets of strawberries at this stage. Batch 1 has 4 qt strawberries, 2 boxes pectin, 12 cup sugar, 1 nectarine, 10-12 pods cardamom, crushed and about 2 tsp lavender. (I kinda gloss over what happened with Batch 1, focusing instead on Batch 2.)

Batch 1, adding the spices: 
This batch blissfully boiled down.
17.  Realize you have made terrible mistakes and underestimated everything in your life. Send out The Ribald Tweeter and PartnerPenguin for additional supplies for rest of berries. This includes more jars because Oh LORD did you DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH JARS.


18.  Watch GLOW and be grateful you are not the main character. I think GLOW captures a reality I knew (in the back of my mind) that I wanted to avoid regarding becoming a professional actress.

GLOW: Theoretically a show about women's wrestling. Mostly 80's hair and problematic situations.
19.  PartnerPenuin and Ribald Tweeter return from outside adventures with food for dinner and secondary supplies. Batch 1 is doing well and is almost ready to be canned.

20. Can the all jam.

About canning:
Whenever you are canning anything, it is SUPER important to wash your hands all the time and straight up don't participate if you're sick. Cans should be submerged at least an inch, preferably 2, under water when sealing. If anyone wants to buy me a special canning pot that would accommodate my bigger jars I would really love that. 

Sub-set of Instructions for Canning

  1. Wash all jars throughly with warm soapy water.
  2. Dry.
  3. Pick up jar with canning tongs and hold, mouth down over boiling water for 2 minutes to sterilize. Steam is what you're aiming for, not the water itself. (Sterilizing pot different than canning pot)
  4. Remove from steam and place jar upright close to jam. We used a secondary bowl to re-arrange tongs for this step.
  5. Ladle jam into sterilized jar immediately.
  6. Sterilize lid and band of lid. Lids (or hats, as we call them) can be purchased separately from jars if your old lids go moldy or something.
  7. Wipe top of jar with fresh paper towel with hot water so lid band does not stick. 
  8. Place lid firmly on top of jar.
  9. Place band on lid and tighten completely. Then loosen the band 1/2-3/4 turn so the band wobbles and there is room between the lid and the band.
  10. Pick up jar with canning tongs and submerge in canning pot with boiling water. My pot fits 4 jars and only when all 4 are inside does the water cover the lids 100%.
  11. Water boiling has bubbles but watch for bubbles coming directly from lids. This is the seal becoming air-tight.
  12. Once seal is air-tight (about 4-5 minutes), gently remove jars and tilt excess water out from between the lid and the band.
  13. Place of flat surface.
  14. When cooled slightly, tighten band.
Canning looks like this: 

And we now return to your regularly scheduled shenanigans:

21.  At this point it's 8 pm and you are hangry so the rest of the party makes dinner while you finish canning and soaking pots for the next round.

22.  Come back from dinner and resume beheading a million strawberries. Watch American Gods because Ibis and Jaquel are the cutest couple in the history of television.
I mean, just look at them! So dapper! Match made in Aaru!
23.  Wash a million dishes. Scrub hard.

24. Assemble Batch 2: 12 quarts of quartered strawberries, 5 boxes of pectin, 10 lbs and 1 cup sugar, 2 underripe nectarines cut into inch cube-ish pieces and 1 and 1/2 lemon, juiced. Spices: 25ish pods of cardamom and 3 Tbsp lavender.

25. Mix together strawbs and sugar. I was very wrong on my calculations (in vid), there were 12 quarts of strawbs, not 6. Here is a hilarious video of me trying to dissolve 10 pounds of sugar into strawbs.


26.  Mix together everything in Batch 2. Pot got VERY FULL.
All the fruits and sugar and pectin and spices added.
27.  Decide it's time to split into two pots. Stir both constantly because viscosity is a bitch.
Sad Sara trying to stir all the pots.

28.  Remember you have multiple stirring utensils in your house.
Stir-Crazy Sara, Master of the Jams.
29. Play with the heat and be careful of multiple burners because your jam will pick up heat from all places.

30. Test jam done-ness by keeping plates in the freezer then dribbling a bit of jam on the plate and returning it to freezer for 2 min. When done, it should look like this:
Note that the jam does not rush to fill the void of a finger. Means it's done.
31. Repeat sub-set of canning instructions. Remove all the pickled carrots from mason jars to a take-out container and picked beets to tupperwares. Pray that you have enough jars.

32.  FIN! You have successfully made 2.5 gallons of jam, deepened your friendship and also probably will have a sleep debt. Brava!!

All the jam, 2.5 gallons

Me, the Ribald Tweeter and ALL OUR JAMS!
Brava us! We got through it!

Obviously our song for the week is "Jammin'" by Bob Marley




Additionally, I want to introduce you to the best summer anthem this year!! It's called "Thunder Thighs" by Miss Eaves

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Blooming Progress Defies Wilting Weather

This week may go down as one of the less eventful weeks in my life, but it was a week. 

Career

I have continued to network and network and network in hopes of maneuvering into a more visible position to apply for a job. I have found that once I get into a certain groove, I can ask for help and a lot of people are excited to help. It’s really difficult to find this groove though. I find myself questioning in a social setting whether I should talk about my work-seeking struggles. But then I do and I’ve been surprised that instead of just nodding along people have put me in contact with new people.

I have to say that one thing I did not understand about networking this much is how exhausting it would be. It’s a lot of cognitive load to me to always be hustling for connection. Another thing is when I get it to develop the right kind of filter on what information to share. Do I disclose that I’m married? Do I share where I’m originally from? Do I talk about spending half of my college career as a Theatre major?

I recently found myself talking about my leadership position within my synagogue and then reflected back with mild horror about whether or not it’s appropriate to talk about religion when I’m trying to get a job in science. It was relevant, and it’s worth sharing that I hold a position of power somewhere, but I still doubted myself.

When I just moved to The Golden State and lived with some relatives, they often made fun of and critiqued my lack of filter. I feel this commentary haunts me, especially as I try to have a more “grown up” job, but don’t feel like a “grown up”.  It takes a lot of effort for me to understand what’s appropriate information to share in any given situation, a major shortcoming I’ve been trying to work through. I deeply value the friends and mentors who have explained ways for me to either pick up cues better or just helped me practice what’s appropriate in work situations.

My present solution has been to try to turn the conversation towards the people I’m speaking with. When they ask about me, I’ve worked on articulating what I want in a job in a way that would actually match a job description. Some of the comments I’ve gotten from people I’ve networked with have been that I need to highlight my work in certain areas (like how I helped design a geochemical leachate study) where previous supervisors have told me that work was irrelevant.

I’ve been working through understanding that the advice I’ve been given within academia may only work in academia. Even there, the “advice” might have been self-sabotaging because several people in positions of power in previous jobs have tried to take my agency or credit from my work. I’m beginning to see that that’s their problem; but it’s hard to let myself reclaim seeing work I’ve done is worthwhile when I’ve been told it’s not. 

Another problem I’ve encountered with the sheer amount of advice I’ve been getting lately is that those dispensing it seem to not remember I’m currently unemployed. I tallied up all the suggestions that people have put forward and they currently add up to $1300.  It’s good practice to set financial goals and proceed forward in a clear path. But honestly it’s overwhelming at times as well.

One thing that’s really bugged me several times are the mid-level professionals who advise I get something because that will make me look like a “go-getter”. This bothers me on multiple levels:
  •        It indicates that my academic and professional choices thus far are that of a slacker. I put myself through the best public university in the country and came out with honors; it really hurts to be called a slacker.
  •        It validates credential creep and sets a soft rejection such that I can’t overcome the rejection to actually move past it.
  •        It is difficult to not view this comment as sexist when I know men from the same exact program as me have gotten jobs in the areas I’m applying to. From the limited information I have seen (on social media, etc), men from my program with lower grades and less credentials than me have gotten jobs with regularity while I’ve been told I need to be more of a “go-getter”. 


There have been several pieces of advice that I have and will act upon. One is going to more meetings where likeminded people, particularly people interested in water policy go to congregate. I am attending a meeting for the local branch of the Groundwater Resources Association this Wednesday. They were understanding of my unemployment situation and were flexible on pricing. I sincerely and truly appreciate that.


Health and Exercise

Another piece of advice I have received from multiple sources is that I start working out. Ironically, professional advancement is one of the very few motivators that actually work for me in a sports sense. I generally detest any kind of workout that involves being alone and not part of a team. But the few times I’ve done it with the goal of being more able to do my job…BAM! I show up, I do well and I’m fine with it.

I don’t look like someone who can naturally lift 50lbs out in the field all day, and truth be told: I can’t really. When I was back in the Big Scrapple I did heavy lifting for a day and it exhausted me for a week and a half. And that’s OK! It’s OK that I’m at the level of physical fitness I’m at right now, especially as I’ve been working on endurance and basic maintenance for quite a while.

But now is the time in my life when I need to step up. Now is the time in my life when I need to get stronger. And that’s OK too. If I get an offer for a job that requires I regularly lift 50lbs around a field site, I am going to be ready. ^___^

Weight Lifting
PartnerPenguin was an absolute all star of a partner and is so committed to supporting my decision he helped me out with finding a personal trainer. We went to a mutual training session and the guy was just great!  He went through three different lifts for each of us and made sure we understood what proper form looked and felt like. He broke down how important recovery was and exactly how we should approach sleeping and eating. It looks like I’m about to get VERY familiar with a million different ways to cook a chicken breast as I need to eat A LOT more protein.

The three lifts I worked on were the squat, the bench press and the deadlift. I appreciated learning how to do a squat properly because it stretches and strengthens my shoulder in a way that’s been lacking in prior workout routines. My initial weights are:
·      Squat: 33lb
·      Bench Press: 45lb
·      Deadlift: 85lb
I’m proud of my deadlift because when I did CrossFit for a hot minute my maximum deadlift was 95lb. It seems like I’ll be able to reach that weight again soon.

The program this trainer adheres to is the StartingStrength program so I will read up more on that method and also maybe teach myself the overhead press somewhere down the line. PartnerPenguin got a lot of good critique on his overhead press so he should be an expert at that soon! Chances are high I’ll go back to the trainer before I try to teach myself anything new because I’m terrified of hurting myself. But, in the words of Todrick Hall “This shit’s expensive.”

Short-term job
I’m still doing temp work and honestly it’s been really really great at teaching me some of the stuff I discussed earlier. My job this past week was an interesting contrast with someone who was very open with her sexuality and discussing wanting to get a boyfriend from the event compared to my silence. Sometimes it helps to learn from other people’s mistakes.

The job was very physically demanding because we were standing outside in direct sunlight and wind for 8-9 hours a day. It was an interesting experience because the contractors for whom we were working were international and didn’t really understand our work laws. At some point, our direct supervisor’s boss commented to the supervisor that the Americans were “lazing around” in the break room. I really admire the way the supervisor handled it, which was come to us and ask us about our labor laws. We let her know that we’re entitled to a ten-minute break every two hours and one thirty-minute break within every five hours. It irked me though. Especially since the event was an HR conference and generally HR folks are versed in the most obscure labor laws.

Something really productive happened at this conference, and I need to tell you! After Day One of conference I was pretty beat but followed a lead to apply to a company as a mapping technician. It was for a driverless car company and they could use my technical skill set without the job relying on too much emotional labor, sign me up!

On Day Two of the conference, I was walking in to take my break and I saw the office manager from the car company! I went up and introduced myself to her and her colleague who works in manufacturing. She said she would pass along that she’d met me and put in a good word for me. I was so proud and surprised that I actually got some relevant networking out of this conference. I really didn’t think there would be any relevant overlap at an HR event!

I’ve also put my name in for an internship with a State Agency that’s just been born. The pay will be what it is, but the social capital opportunities would be excellent with that gig. We’ll see how it turns out, but I’ll report back on that soon.

I think that’s about it on my end. I hope you’re enjoying this beautiful summer weather but staying cool enough not to turn into a puddle.  Here’s a photo of my most recent manicure, all sparkled up and ready for summer.



And to close out, with a song as always… I’m feeling silly and nostalgic today, so here’s a little thing called “I Believe in a Thing Called Love”. Saw this band in concert when they were a thing and they were just as preposterous in person, it was magnificent.




And for those of you following along at home, remember that I have a playlist with all the music I post on this blog. I also have other playlists that are fun too.