Screw Work, Be Social

My life for the past week or so has been roughly divided in three parts:

1.  The part where I’m super social and having lots of friends over or going out and having a good time.
2.  The part where my mum is visiting and we clean and cook together because she wants to make sure I get my deposit back. We also laugh a lot.
3.  The rest of the time where I spend entire nights on the bathmat because my bathroom is literally the most warm and comfortable place in my house. Who invented “wide open spaces” and also “single pane windows.” If I ever live in a big house (read: more than 2 bedrooms, assuming less than 2 kids) please remind me that I hate large living spaces and what the fuck am I doing with my life.

We’re going to focus on parts 1 and 2.

The delightful thing about keeping my “Gratitudes” journal is that it’s like a snapshot diary, but only of good things. So this way when I want to remember what happened, I can just look at the day and be like ::smile:: “Oh yeah, that was a pretty cool thing that happened.”

Being social, going out, having friends over and having a good time

One of the cool things that happened was that the Tenor and I made Pho. That was pretty chill. Good Panda asked me a while back to write more recipes so I wrote the recipe. It is very classically me: it will certainly point you towards making a food, but in the meantime it a work of comedy.

Pho á la Sara

Ingredients:

· 1/2 lb or so of beef. I've been using about 1/4-1/3 lb per person when I cook this. As you suggested, you could probably get it cut really thin by the butcher. I go for the cut-up steak that says "fajita" on the package. I'm lazy.

· 1/2 Tbsp butter (side of butter wrapper has tablespoons marked out)

· 1-1 1/2 Tbsp Lee Brand "Pho: Vietnamese Beef Flavor Paste" (By half I mean just use the same scoop twice and put half as much in it. It's safest to start with real measuring spoons.)

· 8 oz mushrooms, white or portabella. Can sub any kind of veg here, but I think mushrooms are a safe starter veg. Shrooms can be cut any way you like, quartered or "pizza style" or whatever. Make sure you wash those fuckers first though. They grow in poop.

· Pho noodles. I used half a 16 oz package for two people. Probably 1-1.5 oz of dry noodle per person, if you can judge it. Or just use half the package.

· 2-3 Green onions

· half a fistful of cilantro. Sara sized fist, not Tenor sized fist. Probably a quarter of a Tenor fist. Haha. I never noticed how funny the word fist is. Fist. Whatever, cilantro is for garnish. If you cilantro (or parsley or celery) ever looks sad because it's dry, put the stem bits in water. They'll perk up in an hour.

· 1 jalepeño pepper, cut in 1/4 in slices. More if you want more spiciness. DON'T TOUCH YOUR FACE OR ANY OTHER ORIFICES. Just don't.

· Sriracha (cock sauce) and plum sauce to season

Cooking instructions:

1.     Heat saucepan/pot (big enough for all the soup) to medium heat. Add butter, moving it around pan/pot by either rocking pot or moving it around with a set of tongs. Butter should be bubbly but not burn-y. Lower heat if butter is doing nothing but bubble. It should just hang out as a delicious liquid, occasionally bubbling.

2.     Add the steak bits. [As previously stated, this is Sara-Pho not restaurant-pho. In a restaurant they add the meat at the very last step because the high surface area allows it to cook in the broth.] Brown steak bits on all sides. This means allowing the bits to sit on one side for about 5 minutes or until brownish-grey in appearance. 

3.     Remove steak bits from pan and put on plate.

4.     Add water to pot so pot is about half full.

5.     Add Pho paste.

6.     Cover pot and leave on medium heat to boil. Boiling takes a while.

7.     Chop up your mushrooms, if you haven't done that already. If you're The Tenor, make loud choppy noises for no reason on the cutting board. ;-)

8.     While waiting three and half days to boil, chop up the green things. Put in mugs like a classy person to ornament your Pho. Or remikens. Or other small dishes.

9.     Add cut up mushrooms to broth when it starts to boil (bubbles around edges). Stir frequently but keep covered.

10.   As broth comes to a rolling boil (it's always bubbling, there aren't any calm patches) add your noodles. That should make the broth calm the fuck down for a bit. Noodles should cook 2-5 minutes but check the package for specific details.

11.   Noodles are done with they're squishy. Check texture by tasting it. Once desired squishiness is achieved, turn off heat.

12.   Serve broth with noodles into a comically oversized and mismatched bowl.

13.   Add meat, green toppings and hot/sweet sauce as you like. Keep in mind that jalepeños continue to cook as they're left in broth so just take them out when you're done with them.

Traditionally (restaurants) will give you bean sprouts with your toppings. Since we live in TLoTH, I couldn't find any fresh bean sprouts. The Outdoorsy Sage suggests pea sprouts that can be found at the store far away. I am a derp at finding them though, so here we go, sans bean sprouts!

AND THEN EAT YOUR BEAUTIFUL SOUP!

(Picture of Pho from a previous iteration, mostly to illustrate the hilariously 3 little bears-eque bowls I own.)

Another night, I went over a friend’s house and discovered my coat was full of spiders. Like, literally I had no bites and all of a sudden my shoulders were COVERED in spider bites. Fortunately this friend had a washing machine in her kitchen and she was kind enough to let me use this washing machine. I think I showered for 45 minutes when I got home. I felt like I was in A Scanner Darkly for the entire next day.

Besides that, dinner was AMAZING, the company was good and the wine…well it was Pinot Noir. So of course I had to introduce the friends to Peeno Noir. Because Titus Andromedon. We also looked up Hawaiian Superman which is pretty funny as a song. The hostess friend also made candy geodes and later gave me one. BEST. It is super-saturated sugar syrup dried out on fondent. Literally sugar on sugar. I took tiny little bites and had to eat a chip between each one. My taste buds are still confused.

Adventures picking up Mum 

Retrieving Mum from the airport was an interesting exercise in patience. The plane didn’t make the original connection that meant poor Mum stayed up for almost 24 hours straight. Fortunately I had some good friends (The Jr. Ranger and a new friend: Tall Dark and Handsome [TDH]) drive with me to airport (90 min away) so I wouldn’t fall asleep or have panic attacks on the drive home. Before picking Mum up from airport, I dragged them to a Polish restaurant. TDH was hilarious. He had never had Polish, or German or Russian food. There was a portion of the drive down when he kept asking if there were possibly hamburgers. But he was very brave and tried a plate of perogies. I got what they called a “Russian Roulette” of perogies. The Jr. Ranger was very comfortable ordering stuffed cabbage. She and I traded halves and all the food was super yummy and delicious. We brought down the house and the owner kicked us out at 9 pm. But he was SO nice about it. He was like…I’m really sorry to kick you out so have some reusable bags and a couple candy bars!

When Mum finally did arrive, we got this really sad message “lost my luggage”. So I immediately (as immediately as possible, airports are hard) parked. I walked into where she was talking to the attendant and walked up quietly behind her. As soon as I came into view I said “Here is some chocolate. It will make everything better.” Of course at some point I hugged her and told her I was glad I was safe, but chocolate is priority in these situations. I also gave some chocolate to the poor woman who had to deal with an entire flight of lost luggages.

Saturday was a bit of a drag because Mum was exhausted. Like a good daughter, I left her at home and went out partying on my own that night. I had a BLAST. I went to a board game group where I got to be a Viking and buy sheeps and stuff to build boats. I was surprised I liked that game.

Then the Jr Ranger, The Mexican and me went to go dance. The little beer co-op in town occasionally brings in a live DJ and they spin for a couple hours. On Saturday it wasn’t crowded so we got to dance around and have such a great time. I danced for 2 hours straight. Need to do that more! One thing this “club” had going for it was that there wasn’t any creepy grinding or leering. Even though this town is tiny, I have to give it mad props for pulling off a safe space to dance. That’s pretty damn difficult to do.

Sunday morning was derby practice as usual. For the first time, I actually participated in the full 2 hour practice. Mum sat on the side watching. Once we started to scrimmage my teammates called out to her “Ozone Mom, come inside the ring so you don’t get hurt!” I thought it was adorable.

Then, for the first time, I got to jam!!! The sport of derby is basically the story of 1 (jammer) against 4 (blockers). Jammer has to pass blockers. Blockers have to prevent jammer from getting by. So for the first time, I went up against 4 big strong women and tried to wrestle my way through their wall. It was exhausting but exhilarating and so much fun. I had some pretty good momentum built up and then someone shouted out “Take the hole. Make a hole in the Ozone!” I lost it. I cracked up so badly that I totally forgot what I was doing. It had somehow never occurred to me that choosing my name would lead to that exact pun.

Anyway, if it had been a real bout (match) I would have gotten 3 points, out of 5 possible. DO WANT MOAR. I’m gonna go work out all the time now so I have enough strength to do that again! Maybe another day though, my mum is still here and I have to do stuff with her that isn’t working out.

Hanging out with Mum

I have considerably less adventurous stuff to share about having my Mum here. We have mostly been cooking and cleaning together. We’ve had: Seared tuna with asparagus and rice, ratatouille with gorgonzola and chicken soup so far. We have had a lot of laughs over silly things like excessive spoons in tea and waking up at 4:30 am to tell me it’s snowing. We’ve had a lot of discussions about our identities and how they overlap and don’t. It’s made me very happy that she noted I am definitely her daughter and my Bubba’s granddaughter because I keep two towels for showering (one for hair) and fold my clothes like a retail person. We’ve talked about family and health and very little about politics. I introduced her to Gravity Falls and Hayo Miyazaki and The IT Crowd. I have been particularly appreciative that Mum has pointed out traits in my friends that may be difficult for me to see. This is very helpful as I’m assessing who are good influences and whom I want to keep in my life after this year. And also what kinds of traits are non-useful. To be fair, she’s only been here for 4 full days so we’ve done a lot. My apartment is considerably cleaner now.

To close out, Mum and I chose this version of this song. The original song’s music video is pretty far out there and we agreed this was more…entertaining. Please pardon the speaking parts. Except that the speaking parts have a guest appearance by Erlich Bachmann and Gilfoyle so they’re worthwhile for that!

There, and back again

This week's post has a guest author. Niece #1 is visiting us for a little bit and I thought it would be a good experience for her to try writing a blog. As always, please be compassionate when commenting.

The past few days with PartnerPenguin and SaraBe have been ones I won’t forget for a long time. I’m from Bore City, USA, and life can be a little dull there. I was absolutely excited when I found out I’d be spending some time with them. I reached some other destinations before finally settling with them, but these days have definitely been different. I was staying with my relatives nearby before this leg of my trip. Their house/farm was unlike any other place I’d been. Ducklings, chicks, rabbits, roosters, turkeys, fish, chickens, and a friendly doggie all became acquainted with me on that stay. I didn’t stay there long, however, because Sara and PartnerPenguin arrived shortly after I arrived. Everyone joined together that evening over some scrumptious local dinner food. I won’t forget the happy feeling of watching so many cool friends of mine finally get to meet. A little unluckily, we didn’t leave until sunset for our trip to Phoenix. It wasn’t that much of a problem; we were just all a little tired by the time we got there. Although the trip was almost entirely in the dark, it was a road trip I’ll never forget. I’ve got to say, “Comfortably Numb” sounds better going down the freeway at 90 MPH. The best aspect of the trip was getting to see the meteor shower. This wasn’t your typical shower of fire in the night sky; it was a new moon that night, in the middle of nowhere. We got to see everything. I saw at least six meteors in the brief time we spent gazing. Around 3 o’clock in the morning did we finally find ourselves in Phoenix. The AirB&B we stayed at was the coolest! There was all sorts of fascinating things: spiritual quotes on the walls, Celtic designs, Native American artwork, some pretty sweet lizards, and a very generous woman named Diane. A lot of cool experiences came out of our short stay. We got to spend a lot of time with PartnerPenguin’s family, which was the reason of our visit in the first place. His Aunti Kutzi arrived from Europe around the same time I got to my relatives’. The people in the Paprikás krumpli Family were very diverse in personality. I won’t go into specifics, but the people I met were very fun to be around and it was nice to temporarily be a part of the Paprikás krumplis. I’ll never forget playing the Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone Trivia Game with SaraBe and PartnerPenguin “What is the name of the spell that paralyzes the opponent?” We said: “Habeas Corpus!” Our voting rights have been revoked. Outside of the family, Sara and I got to do a lot of exciting activities in the city. We looked around the Wells Fargo Museum, which is actually a lot cooler than it sounds. There was a lot of historical information on how important the bank was during the Gold Rush. Lots of interactive aspects were added to the museum.  We then proceeded to the Arizona Science Center. We got to learn a lot of cool facts about the human body (the brain especially), homebuilding, geology, electricity, physics, and more. For at least twenty minutes or more, SaraBe and I got to watch a Malaysian Dead Leaf Mantis consume ten or so flightless fruit flies. It was really intense. We attended a yoga class the next day, which helped clear out a few mental mothballs. It was a little hard, not being flexible and all, but we can both say that we enjoyed it. Before the three of us realized, it was time to head home. We spent the entire next day on the road trip back. We took the “scenic route”, which was absolutely gorgeous. I’d never been surrounded by such beautiful mountains while having such an intense discussion about Harry Potter. When lunchtime came around, we stopped at a cute little café, which had rather delicious burgers. Our next eating experience wouldn’t be as enjoyable. So we took off from the café, and we got to see all sorts of cool geography. The three of us got to drive through tall, forested mountains and glide along grassy plateaus. Around sunset we visited Petrified National Forest and Painted Desert. What I saw was unlike anything before.  The blotches of color spread across vast canyons and mountains were simply amazing. The Petrified Wood had such a unique texture, almost like plastic! The array of colors in the wood was so cool. We saw the most beautiful sunset on our way out of the park, as well. The sunset is one beautiful thing that I never get tired of. The rest of the trip was spent in the dark, and SaraBe and I watched Gravity Falls and snuggled. It was very fun. You were probably wondering what food we ate that was just so, so bad. We had six tacos amongst the three of us: two chicken, two beef, and two pork. Let me put this lightly… the chicken tasted although it came from a packet that was seasoned with (insert sad word), the ground beef was definitely not an Earth creature, and the pork softly wept with every bite I took.  The sadpapilla (a tortilla with kraft honey packet) brought tears to my eyes. It was a hilarious meal and I would never, ever eat there again. After a few more hours driving, we finally found ourselves back home. Those few days were some of the most unique in my life, and I would do it all again if I could. 

Here is a song we liked from the many we listened to along the road:

An Act of God, Once in a Blue Moon

Buckle up kiddos, it’s going to be a fucking wild ride. There will also be more photos than usual because my brother cares about photos and has a good camera.

I don’t even remember my life from before my last post. (Please click here to see the updated picture of the kitty.)

During the weekdays my brother was in town, we went out a bunch and drank a drink called an “Adios Mothafucka’” and I sang Spice Girls and Carrie Underwood.

I tried a piece of advice someone had told me a couple years ago. If you are having a difficult time with a co-worker, break bread with them and the relationship changes. I have a co-worker who I just could not figure out how to communicate with. I know he’s an outdoorsy guy so I invited him and his wife out to dinner with my brother and I. It was awesome. I learned that lamb is not the celebration meat of everyone’s childhood, just mine. Also: nostalgia trumps professional chefs and my mom’s lamb stew is better than the restaurant’s even though theirs was probably technically better.

Cool. So the day after that dinner, Brother and I headed out after work. We spent the night at a KOA (Kampgrounds of America). Mind boggled. They had flush toilets and showers and electricity. Wut. Neither of us slept well because it was very bright. Morning brought us one of the nicest Denny’s breakfasts either of us had ever eaten. Then it was in to Canyonlands. Brother took a nap while I drove in. The front desk lady was really helpful and showed us how to accomplish all of the things we wanted to do. Our first night had mandatory pack in/pack out of human waste so I got acquainted with a little bag that supposedly sterilized poops so you can throw them out in the regular garbage. They also had this trashcan:

I have to say, National Parks are about the only thing I can unequivocally say make me feel patriotic. I feel very proud to be an American when I can follow a trail through some of the most beautiful countryside and sleep under the Milky Way. The trail was meticulously well marked and we found the campsite no biggie.

We took a quick nap when we set up camp because it was pretty warm out. I wanted to see an Arch because arches are the most majestic of all geologic formation-y things and I love them so. The trail took us to one called Druid Arch that I sincerely hoped looked like Stonehenge. Most of the trail was in a wash with some pretty steep up slopes toward the end. The last little bit (.5 mi or so) I wanted to die but I made it. And GODDAMN was it worth the hike.

On the way back we stopped by a puddle and collected water and treated it. I think this was an interesting and worthwhile experience to have because emergency (read: camping) treated water tastes pretty gross.

By the next morning I was a little heat exhausted but I made it out to the car OK. This started the day hotter than Satan’s balls. By 7 am it was already well into the 80’s and we were drinking water that tasted like chlorine and tadpole pee. I probably got down a liter (don’t judge me for mixing units) and a half by the time we got to the car and went to the visitor center to fill up on regular drinking water. We each filled up 6 L of water, intending 4 for that day and 2 for the next morning. Then we drove to the trailhead of one of the most remote (not 127 Hours remote, but they did warn us they wouldn’t start looking for us immediately if we went missing) trails in Canyonlands. It’s called the Confluence trail and at the end you get to see the Colorado and Green Rivers come together. Spoiler alert: the Colorado wins.

This is where things start to go downhill. It starts of literally. The downhill grade averages 45deg with an abrupt uphill ascent at 80-90deg in 30 ft stretches. We realize how nice it was the day before that we were mostly in a wash and protected by canyon walls. Noon hits us quickly and Brother tells me in this part of the world the hottest time of day is 2-4pm. It’s easily 110deg by this point and as we walk over a little flat area I walk into a tree bough at eye level. I fall over and start crying, like a toddler. Brother wisely advises that I have pretty bad heat exhaustion and I should stay in some shade. He still wants to see the confluence so he finds me a nice patch of shade that will last 3 or so hours and leaves me.

Personally, this was the coolest part of the trip for me. Certainly not because I make excellent company but I got to take a nap in the soft sand and then just hang out with nothing on my mind. I was sitting there, playing in the sand and I see a flurry out of the corner of my eye. I think “Huh. I wonder what birds live here?” and look up. And it’s… A BABY OWL! It was the cutest thing in the entire world and it just sat there staring at me. Occasionally it would open and close its mouth but no sounds came out. Must’ve actually been a baby because someone who knows about birds told me that action meant it wanted me to feed it. It flew away after a while and then I was alone again.

Eventually, Brother returned. He looked pretty beat and laid down in the shade for a while. He asked me how much water we had left. It was only then that I realized we had about 2L between the two of us. We decided it was safest to leave the trail, rather than get stranded with no water. There were no puddles to purify, we would just run out. :< We probably drank close to 8L each that day, total. I was rested and hydrated enough to overcome the entire horrible trail back to the car. My MO became sitting in shade for up to a minute before the really steep stuff.

My total mileage for the weekend was about 17 miles. 2 days. I didn’t look at a topo map but it was certainly 1000’ up and down, if not more. I kept saying “I will never be un-sore from this.”

We decided to go to the town with the KOA for dinner, even though it was an hour and half away. Let’s just say I was really hungry and shaved off a couple minutes of driving time by my incredible driving efficiency. The only place open that late was this fancy-ass bar which served bison and elk and wild boar. Whatevs, Brother didn’t want Denny’s again and I couldn’t care less so bison burgers it was! Cool. So I suggest we stay at the KOA again but he’s all like “Nah.” So we start driving. I’m like “How far we driving?” He’s like “How long you think you can drive?” “45 min or so?” “OK. I’ll drive the rest to TLoTH. And if I get tired you’ll drive.”

I didn’t actually drive that much longer because I was more tired than I thought. He took over and I went straight to sleep. There were a couple swerves from idiot drivers where I woke up but for the most part it was pretty OK sleep. Then very suddenly, I’m jerked awake and get pulled forward as the windshield shatters into a million pieces onto my face/chest/lap. Brother slows the car down and we’re both out of breath saying “What the hell was that?” Got out of car (my door barely opened and I noticed the back window was out too) and looked behind us. A large cow (lady) elk was standing in the middle of the road with her raggedy neck wool and unsteady legs. She totters towards us and I’m all like “Look away! Don’t engage with it!” but then she walks across the road and into the hedges.

Soonafter I see a big SUV car driving up in the opposite direction. They (thankfully) pull over and ask how to help. It’s 12:30 am. Very long and stressful story short, they stayed with us for an hour and half until the police showed up. I learned several things that night:

·      If you get hit by an animal and don’t swerve, it is considered an Act of God. If you swerve, you are liable.

·      State Police here are actually really nice. I’m sure this changes depending on who you are, but in our case all of the police officers were really nice.

·      The Milky Way is very bright in the middle of nowhere.

·      Half-dead elk are easy prey. I didn’t move more than 30 ft from the car if I didn’t have to, I was too scared of mountain lions.

·      Elk walk shit like this off all the time. We were going 55 mph.

·      AAA in this state is terrible. The operator didn’t actually know the geography of where I was, despite my giving her the road and mile marker repeatedly. When a truck was FINALLY dispatched at 3:30, it was dispatched from 85 miles away so we didn’t get the tow until 5am.

·      With permission from the cops, you can camp on the side of the highway here. Especially if your car looks like this and they know AAA sucks.

Needless to say, we did very little the next day. (Two vehicle accidents in 4 months? Really?) Brother felt so bad about the car, it was difficult. I was glad we weren’t more hurt. We saw Minions. The only thing I liked about it was the soundtrack.

Monday was the day Brother left and PartnerPenguin came back to TLoTH. Some complicated logistics later, I got to sleep with PartnerPenguin in the same bed and felt safe for the first time in weeks.

Wednesday was my TEDx talk. Whoooph. I realized that I had tackled a challenging topic, one that other people were unwilling to talk about. I feel there was no way to prepare myself to be in front of a room full of 500 people and have everyone go absolutely silent. In crafting this talk, I realize that I lean a lot on humor, especially self-deprecating humor, as a crutch if I want to talk about something serious. 9 minutes was not enough time for such bullshit. I think that was the most valuable part of giving this talk was crafting my time in such a way that I used every moment to the highest potential. The crux of my talk was how the lab could use student positions like my own to the benefit of both parties. I talked about the student debt burden. I directly addressed the issue of privilege and the lack of discussion around it in STEM academia. I was more nervous than I expected, but I feel like I delivered it strongly and convincingly.

Because my week wasn’t eventful enough, on Friday I started the process of buying a car. This was my personal procedure, because a lot of people helped me and gave me advice.

·      Have PartnerPenguin look up dealerships nearby and narrow down one.

·      (Took some time off work) I went to a local credit union and applied for an auto loan. My final APR was 2.99% which is not excellent but not as bad as Wells Fargo’s 6.49%. I took out more than I was expecting to pay but not more than I could pay back over 3 years.

·      We went to the dealership about an hour and half before closing time on the last day of the month. Unfortunately our saleslady was middle of the pack so closing the deal wasn’t too important to her and she didn’t negotiate too much. None of the offers were stellar.

·      We ate dinner. I hate shopping to begin with; this was one of the most exhausting experiences of my life.

·      Next day, we swapped cars (another friend borrow) for a car that would make it 90 mi and back for cheaper deals.

·      Went to Honda dealership and wound up with a VW. Womp. Salesdude was super chill even though we made him miss the fight. He said it’s the easiest job in the world. We hemmed and hawed and negotiated.

Here she is!!

Her name is Mabel, after Mabel Pines (Gravity Falls). The salesdude said if we don’t want the front paint to chip we can get a bra (which looks stupid) but then I imagined all of the MabelSweater opportunities and I’m stoked!!

One important thing that I would like to chronicle, both for myself and those who love me is that I have developed a mild case of PTSD from the accident. I nearly had a panic attack while driving home at night. Right now I’m trying to avoid night driving and got a referral for a therapist. I might also try medication.

And here’s a bucket of random for you! Congratz for reading this far! I won’t miss a week again, I hope!

P.S. It was also a Blue Moon this week.

If You’re Not Scared for Your Life, You’re not Having Fun

It’s been a pretty interesting week. Where things left off, I was pretty bummed out. I appreciate all of the calls and emails of support. I’m sorry if I didn’t get my shit together to call you back. Monday through Wednesday was pretty routine and mostly involved cleaning up my apartment and getting ready for my brother to arrive. Thursday was the 1.5 hr drive down after crossfit. Met up with some acquaintances at some really weird bar that tried to be a biker bar and a Hard Rock Café while also being family friendly at the same time. It was really really strange but the music was good so whatever.

Brother arrived at middle-of-the-night-thirty and fortunately he drove us the hour and a half to “home”. Surprisingly, we talked the whole time. He’s trying to get out to Antarctica and I’m trying to get several things published. We still find each other funny and like similar things. It’s weird and pleasant to have my brother so present in my life for the first time in nearly a decade.

I was super dead at work on Friday but fortunately we had a lot of pushing small rocks through holes to do. Friday night, we tried some local food that consisted of fried squares of dough dipped in honey-whipped butter. It was most excellent. On our way back up to TLoTH, we stopped by a spooky but beautiful overlook. It has a nice cement platform with railings to overlook the river. Of course, we go on the narrow path that follows the narrow ridge of the cliff instead. It’s boulder-y basalt with TONS of millipedes and only a few places to put feet. I make little whining noises the whole time and Brother says:

“If you’re not scared for your life, it’s not fun.” Foreshadowing.

OK, cool so we have decided by this point that we are going to climb the highest peak in the state on Saturday by this point so we have to go buy food. Food shopping makes me exhausted but apparently it’s not acceptable to go to bed at 9:30 on a Friday night when friends have invited you out so we went to the bar. Brother met some of my friends here and that was about it.

Saturday morning, we did not get a very early start. We left around 7 am, which put us in the nearest town to the peak at 9ish. We didn’t get up to the base of the trail until 9:45. The plan was to hike the 6 mi trail to the crest, down 2 mi to a lake and meet one of my co-workers to camp the night. I didn’t quite have the right gear but it would work out if I had a tent I could crash in. (My ground pad was my yoga mat. I could almost hear it whimpering and saying it’s a domestic yoga mat, not an adventurous one.) Cool. Trail. Hiking. Very adventure. Wow.

The trail started as a horse trail. Horse trail means horse poop so there were MILLIONS of flies. It was forested and verdant and nice until the top of the first ridge. Then it alternated between beautiful alpine meadows and lush pine forest. The meadows had every wildflower I’ve ever seen in this state! There were purple ones and white ones and yellow ones. There were little scarlet ones that looked like raspberries. There were little glaciers with wind whipped patterns. There were waterfalls and creeks and moss. It was very beautiful and very happy and very quiet.

We didn’t see any bighorn sheeps but we saw a bajillion marmots. They may really odd noises, kinda like a baby crying while also trying to poop out a Lego. They’re fat and don’t look like they should be fast but they are. I guess they’re kinda cute if you like molting teddy bears?

The rocks were mostly metamorphic so there were lots of cool minerals and I think some rhodochrosite? Brother had hiked a nearby mountain a couple years ago so it was pretty cool to watch it come into focus the higher and higher we went. I started being more and more ok with silence as the hike wore on because I couldn’t breathe. We got to the peak around 5 pm unscathed, which was really a stroke of pure luck. It’s monsoon season here and we only got sprinkles and no lightening.

We descended down the path to the rendezvous. It was an unfortunately steep and bare talus slope. The best part was an adorable rodent with big round ears. Other than that, it was a treacherous and wobble-leg journey.

At the lake, I checked my phone and my co-worker had bailed. No tent, boo. It was already cool and it was only 7 pm. We ate some ramen, which was the best idea ever. By this point it was obvious one of us would freeze if we stayed the night. We asked some other hikers how far back it was to the road, they said “Oh, not far. Maybe thirty, forty-five minutes.” LIES. But we didn’t know that. We had at least 30 minutes left of sun so we figured, OK. Ten minutes in dark is better than freezing next to this glacial lake. We set out on the trail back to the road.

The light only lasted 20 minutes but fortunately Brother had a flashlight and a headlamp. We lost all light after 40 minutes but fortunately we picked up cell signal so we could see how far from the road we were. I was babbling at this point, partially out of fear of bears and mountain lions and partially because I babble when I’m scared. It was noise, so it was good. I was walking even slower than my usual slow because I’d walked 13 mi already with 3500’ up and down. Also it was dark and I fall on paved road.

The small path we were on intersected with what must have been a jeep trail. It was slightly easier to walk but I couldn’t pick up the pace that much. Around this time, Brother says “was that a flashlight?” and I kinda pause.

“Hullo? Hullo? Is anyone there?” he says. He is standing still, looking at something across the clearing. ::heartrate raises:: Brother turns to me. “Look, you need to trust me right now and we need to get out of here as soon as possible. Just run.” Well shit. (My heart is racing as I’m writing this.) I run, which was not the best thing to do in this situation. But I had no idea what was there so I just blindly ran for my life. A couple times I couldn’t breathe but I pushed past it. We saw a structure, a large mess hall of sorts. Brother said “here” and we went inside. As soon as we get in he says, “OK, we’re going to stay here the rest of the night. That was a mountain lion.” I couldn’t breathe. I started having the most legitimate panic attack of my life. Brother gets me water and tells me to focus on my breathing; he is going to check the door. He goes outside, headlamp on and all I hear is “Hey! Hey!” followed by his headlight going out. I freak out worse and can’t breathe again. I walk to window and see a jeep outside, he had just gone over to talk to them. When he comes in, he says there’s a bar just 200 ft away and there will be someone there who can drive us back to our car (another 2 mi away).

We pick up our packs and go to the little bar. The bartended makes me some tea and Brother fills us all in on some details. It was a full-grown adult mountain lion, about 7 ft long and probably 200 lb of muscle. It was less than 20 feet from us, and lions don’t show themselves unless they want to. =pouncing distance.

Update: I found out much later my brother got a picture.

When we got back to the car I called PartnerPenguin and told him I loved him. Then we got ice cream cones and came back to TLoTH.

Comparatively, the rest of the weekend was dull. We hiked to some pretty cool warm springs on Sunday. They were beautiful and clear and had little fishies that ate off the dead skin on your feet/legs/back/hands/whatever was in the water. I’ve never been in warm springs cool enough to support macroscopic life so it was super cool to me. We followed this up with some good ol’ Chinese Food buffet (tasted generic). Then we got me some proper gear so we can do a two-night overnight next weekend.

In other news, I’m continuing to work on my TEDx talk. Pressure mounts, 8 days left to showtime. Worked with a volunteer for 2.5 hr today revising my script, which makes me nervous so close to go time. I think the theme of this visit is exhaustion and fear coupled with insanely beautiful views and catharsis of being alive.

This is about the only song relevant to this event. Mostly for the chorus.