Procrastinators Unite!!---Tomorrow.

As today’s title might inspire your imagination…I am a little tardy writing this post. I still intend to publish every Sunday, but I had an extraordinarily busy weekend. And I am human. And I am tired.

This weekend I went to the Key Route City, which is where I’d been living for nearly 4 years prior to coming to TLoTH (The Lab on The Hill). For those of you just tuning into my blog or didn’t know this particular detail, PartnerPenguin and I kept our apartment in Key Route City. We’d previously been sub-letting it to Good Panda but she is off being fancy again so PartnerPenguin is living there for right now. I cannot describe how happy and relieved I was after 12 hours of travelling to come HOME. We have this chandelier that has caused us much trouble over the past year but damn was I glad to see that stupid light fixture. Being in bed with my loved one proved some of the best sleep I’ve had in weeks and I already miss it.

Thursday was the day I flew. Ended work a bit early so I could drive the hour and a half to the nearest runway that passes for an international airport. After flying out LAX, PHL, SFO, PHX and OHare for so long, I forgot that small airports exist. Ugh. Anyway, I had a layover. No biggie. We board the second flight and everything’s groovy and we’re out on the tarmac and… one of our engines failed. I thanked every deity that it happened on the ground so I can complain about it instead of being dead. So anyway, I got into my destination so late that I had to take a taxi. I don’t recommend it.

Friday PartnerPenguin and I kinda spent the whole day on a date. We walked and talked and walked and talked and then sat on some grass and people watched. I think the biggest difference about the Key Route City and TLoTH stood out to me while people watching.

Mixed race couples.

Couples and families. Lesbians. Gay men. FRIENDS. It seemed almost that every group of people we saw go by were heterochromatic in nature. And no one gave a flying fuck. Everyone was enjoying a lovely sunny day by the lake. Ethnicities from the world over were represented in the passerby, and most importantly: it wasn’t a deal.

I came of age in Philadelphia and there are certain things I can’t shake about leaving that magnificent, smelly, cobble stoned city. I feel most comfortable in a city when people who look different surround me and I can learn their stories. I have a very difficult time in segregated environments where xenophobia and classism prevents me from regularly interacting with different types of people. This weekend, it hit me hard that I cannot sustain long-term residence in a place like TLoTH. I take it like a very long field season with fabulous accommodations, but this place is not and cannot be my home.

PartnerPenguin is brilliant and we took the bus instead of the train (which runs in a tunnel underground) into The City. The old bridge is almost gone and the skyline is changing faster than an instantaneous orogeny. New and shiny rich people colonies are sprouting out of the ground like beanstalks, but with the giants guarding treasure on the inside instead of high in the skies. I wonder if Jack and the Beanstalk was really a ridiculously prophetic tale about a kid who time travels into the future and meets several tall Googlers. Then PartnerPenguin took me out to dinner at a grilled cheese place because he knows how to please a woman. Then we went to shul and hugged our friends and sang “Adon Olam” to the tune of “America the Beautiful.” For those of you who aren’t familiar, “Adon Olam” is the most versatile Jewish prayer and can be sung to literally all pop songs common in Western civilization.

From there we used a niche taxi service to take us to the other end of the City. Because you don’t hail cabs with a hand out in the street anymore: it’s subtler and involves smart-phones.

We spent the rest of the evening with our favorite triad. For those reading who aren’t familiar with ethical non-monogamy or polyamory, this isn’t that uncommon in The City or even the Key Route City. In this case, our friends are a woman and her two men. She is a role model in eloquence and her husband is a fabulous photographer. The other friend is a fastidious programming nerd with a bajillion books. Both men are from India and always give excellent insight on their experiences of being brown in tech in America. Around 2 am, I had a really important insight. We were talking about all of the informal research I have been doing to create this talk. And then it clicked.

I can, and should, be doing this for money. I am an excellent communicator of my science and I do an OK job at communicating science in general. I am uniquely skilled and might be in the perfect position to be an instigator of discussion and effective change in diversity in STEM academia. And best of all, I may not actually need a PhD to do it.

This is a freshly hatched idea so please be respectful that it is fragile. Please do not knock me too hard before I fully form and put into words what exactly I’d like to do. But also, please do not hesitate to use this opportunity to connect me with people. I would like to see what a professional in this field does, and whether it really is something I wish to pursue. I work best talking to people and investigating things in an in-person kind of way.

* * *

The rest of the weekend was full of lovely interactions with wonderful people. I attended a proper 4^th of July BBQ and ate too much food like a good American. But some of it was gelato, does that still count if it’s produced here?

Anyway, we had a get-together at our place in the Key Route City. Friends from near and far came by, which is odd because no one seemed to see my invitation on Facebook. Ah well, fuck Facebook anyway. I bought ALL THE SUSHI for dinner and mainlined Miso soup all night while alternately shouting “FISH EXISTS!” and putting more sushi in my mouth. Good times. Everyone else ate Dinobuddies and cupcakes that turned your teeth blue. I think I got the better dinner. I think more hostesses should close their parties the way I did: “Y’all look tired and I need to get laid. Go home.”

* * *

Sunday was totally fun-day for PartnerPenguin and me. We got to watch The Little Bear for the middle of the day. Two things surprised me about this 1:2 set of interactions. One: She was extraordinarily emotionally expressive, even by adult standards. She is sad and angry and very angry about having to move. She doesn’t know where all of her stuffed animals are going to live. She is worried about how her new living arrangement is going to be, comfort wise. To be honest, if more adults could be as precise with their emotions followed by specific followup on why they were feeling those feelings, I think the world would be a much better place. But it was a small exercise in compassion to quietly sit on a bed with a young child and let her feel while assuring her those feelings were valid. I truly appreciated the experience.

The second surprise was her lecturing us about flushing after only peeing because there’s a drought and that’s not good for the environment.

She’s four.

I have a little more hope for humanity.

We took her to a street fair where she went on rides and got her face painted. After a fashion, we returned her to her parents and then got to go explore the fair. I could not have wished for a more concentrated event that perfectly summed up all the things I love about living in the Key Route City. There were local and state politicians, many many chiropractic, massage and tarot booths, ethnic food stands of at least 20 nationalities, a stay-at-home-dad who designs baby and kid clothes, a guy who salvages and reprints random old photos from 1910-70, several gourd instrument sellers and free art for kids. The live stages had performers including aerial artists, ska/reggae/rock cover bands and live rappers. I love this city so much. I have so much love in my heart I cannot bear it sometimes.

* * *

Monday was only a morning in town. I had breakfast with my boss from my previous job. I feel the best way to describe our work relationship was that another coworker tagged me in a picture on Facebook but when I visited the page I was a picture of him eating a cake made with chocolate I donated. We talked about science, his retirement, my career trajectory, and commiserated about certain people who make our lives more difficult than they need to be. It was in a restaurant owned by a famous person and the music was a direct emotional link to my 15-year-old self. It’s astounding how different and same of a person I am, ten years later.

A last quick mini-date with PartnerPenguin brought us to a bank-turned coffee shop with an espresso repair shop behind what used to be the tellers’ counter. I got some espresso for co-workers who caffeinate me in the morning, like I will need tomorrow after writing this.

Oh and one thing I forgot to mention. I GOT A PIN UP CALENDAR OF ACCORDIAN PLAYERS WITH AN ACCOMPANYING CD WITH ALL OF THEIR MUSIC. That was out of order, but you needed to know and be jealous.

And with that, I’ll sign off with a song that just so happened to start my day on the road on Monday. I could think of no more perfect traveling song.

Come With Me Now

Damn, living on my own is awesome and busy. I did it; I made it a week without my PartnerPenguin!Among my personal goals I wrote out when I started out this week was the following:

Do only what serves my highest potential.

I feel like I did a pretty great job doing that this week. I am finally taking a night to catch up and food shop and blog and wash my stinky clothes. Oh the stinky-ness!

Well, the week went pretty well. I don’t actually remember what I did last Monday but I’m sure it was cool. I did make all my food last Sunday. I figured out a pretty good strategy, for now. I make 2 dishes, one Western, one Eastern. Alternate those for lunch and dinner. Get something different for breakfast. This past week Partner Penguin left me 4 lbs of boneless skinless chicken boobies so I had boobies for days. The Western dish was one of my own concocting involving butter, dark red wine, onions and mushrooms. The Eastern dish was a Trader Joe’s premade curry simmer sauce with obscene amounts of coconut oil and milk. In addition to chicken, it had red onions and tomatoes. I get really bored of my food really easily so I found a good way to combat this is to pick up a different fresh vegetable each day. So I have my entrée and a new veg dish and it’s <$3 per day after initial chicken/meat/protein investment.

Tuesday and Thursday nights I did CrossFit. I decided it was more worth it than a gym/YMCA membership for me right now because there is a built in community to support you and it a designated time commitment. I lifted a 25lb barbell this past workout and I rowed about 2000 meters in all. I am very proud of myself, and I hope to continue in a productive manner.

Wednesday brought girls’ night and we had a pretty good crowd this week. My next-door neighbor came out with us. I’m not really sure if she spoke to anyone besides me but she seemed like she enjoyed herself. Wine+estrogen is always a good idea, especially when you have ChromeCast available to watch the trailer for “Movie, The Movie”.

Cool, I went a bit out of order but anyway my week was swell. Then I had a badass weekend.

In case I haven’t mentioned, I am on a pretty cool work schedule that allows me to take every other Friday off. So Friday being my day off, I got to do a bunch of housework and pack. I laminated the first geology map I made in school; I’m super stoked to put it up in my office.

In the afternoon, I met up with some friends and we went camping for two days. It turns out that when you’re not camping for research or classes it’s actually an incredibly relaxing and peaceful experience! I really liked it and was super glad I had some good friends organizing. I did two important firsts this weekend too.

1.   I pooped in a hole. Including research trips, field camps and educational camping trips, I have certainly been camping for a total of more than 3 months of my life. I just evaded that particular issue forever. Whatever, I know you don’t care but this isn’t your blog.
2. I shot a gun. This was a little more profound for me than pooping in a hole. I am scared of guns and the noise hurts my ears a lot. This was a 45 caliber dude. PartnerPenguin asked me the brand and I told him “black” and he said that wasn’t a brand. The one thing that I was impressed with myself about was that I aimed at the target and hit exactly where I aimed. I then gave the gun back to its owner and ran away. 

 Other than that, I’m still working through the book The Bees; a mini-epic of a dystopian feminist world solely populated by bees. It’s pretty violent and incredibly compelling. I appreciate any author who successful writes about smell and pheromone communication between animals. Plus, it had Margaret Atwood's stamp of approval.

Sunday morning I left hella early and braved the treacherous dirt road back to the main road. When I got home, I showered the most delicious, cleansing shower of my life. Then I hit the road again and headed up to a local ski village for a music festival.

Now I’ve been to a couple folk festivals and a couple large venue multi-band gigs but I had no idea what to expect. The headliners were international with an average of one top 40 charting song. The event didn’t publish the set list so I got there when it opened at noon only to find out the first act wasn’t until 3:30. Haha. They had filler music groups until the event. Among the artists, I was not surprised to see Mariacha or Flamenco group. The group that did surprise me was the Native group who sang traditional prayers around a drum. Something about their presence and performance was so piercing. Maybe it was because many other areas do not have enough of a Native American population to offer such a group. Maybe it was the timbre of their singing that just saw through everything mortal and spoke to spirits directly. I was glad they were present.

I passed the time exploring this wonderful new place and basking in its artsy-fartsy-ness. I found a jeweler who I really liked as well as an all women artist collective. I ran into my boss’s-boss’s-boss’s boss which was…interesting. I guess she was the one who suggested the ski village in the first place so it wasn’t that surprising.

Back to the concert. I have to give kudos to the opening header act, Rixton. They had fabulous stage presence and encouraged a really energetic crowd. The one audience participation act they did was they encouraged everyone in the audience to put their arm around the people they cared about the most. The lead singer then asked everyone to say

“I appreciate you.”

He then encouraged everyone to turn to a stranger and say

“I don’t know you, but I appreciate you.”

I would really like to point this out because such a simple act of gratitude should NEVER go unacknowledged or underappreciated. I hope the band will become more technically proficient and enjoy their already successful career. I also hope the lead singer and the guitarist are boyfriends because the former kissed the latter a whole bunch and I hope it was consensual. Anyway, this is the song you’d know if you know them at all.

The act that I went to see was KONGOS. Damn they rock. And HOT DAMN is their bass player one fine specimen of man. They certainly had different personalities than Rixton but they worked the crowd well in their own way. Most of the music was extremely heavy in bass drum and bass guitar but there were some pretty fabulous accordion and guitar solos. I was convinced the solo in “Come With Me Now” was an electified dulcimer but the guitarist played it on his guitar. Slight disappointment. Now I need to learn how to play the dulcimer and do heavy metal covers with it. Obviously. The set ended with rain and excellent head-banging and some really really rad covers of the Beatles and New Order. I don’t think I’ve ever actually heard such a successful cover of Elenor Rigby but it works really well with a heavy-metal-accordion band.

The rest of the fest was unremarkable except three things.

1. A woman asked me “Is this what people are normally like?” She was very intoxicated but I think there was some horrible truth in her question. She looked so lost and terrified that people were so horrible.
2.  A lesbian couple (it was relevant to my shirt) told me they lived in an earth ship. Apparently that’s a particular kind of zero waste house.
3. A woman extended her hand after talking for a while, presumably to shake and exchange names. I extended my hand and touched hers. Instead of shaking it, she pet her face with the back of my hand. I’m fairly sure this isn’t normal, but as long as bodily fluids aren’t involved, I don’t judge.

Then I drove off into the sunset and so ends my story today.

Local Adventures

 I don’t know where to start this week. I am very warm and very bored and I’m not accustomed to either of these feelings. I guess a good place to start is by recapping my week:

Monday: This week a friend, let’s call him Socially Awkward Math Gradstudent (Sam G for short) visited us for most of the week. It was a great challenge and great fun to show him the sites here. Monday was pretty cool to start with because it just so happened to be crystal clear skies nearby but a lightning storm within 50 miles of us. We drove up to the top of the ski hill and got to witness this pretty fantastic event. ^__^

Tuesday: I spent the day in a leadership assessment program with about 15 other students. I got to meet some pretty awesome people and the day was full of role-playing exercises that straddled my comfort zone. It was a good learning experience and something valuable at the end of the day was that they had a 1:1 with an assessor who suggested areas of strength and growth. She pointed out two of my unique strengths are the ability to synthesize large amounts of information into something comprehensive and my ability to include members who are quieter and get them to successfully participate in a group. That felt really nice.

Wednesday: Great news!! I am going to give a TEDx talk!! For those of you who aren’t familiar with TED or TEDx, it is an organization (group of organizations?) whose tagline is “ideas worth spreading.” Individuals present ideas in 5-20 minute talks with few visual aids and are focused on novel concepts or unusual perspectives. This is one the leadership folks showed us and I think it really gets the point across succinctly, in addition to being a really good talk. TEDx is institution or location specific and usually has to relate to that place or theme in some way.

I am going to talk about how TLoTH could use students in my position in a more efficient manner. I will focus on how increasing students in this position could increase national diversity at the graduate level and why it is an appealing position to all sides involved.

Thursday: Sam G, PartnerPenguin and I went after work to a “hot” springs. I have to say, after living in a similar (but larger and more active) tectonic environment last year, this hot spring was a complete let down. Geology aside, there were dirty diapers all over the place, which was gross. The water was lukewarm and there was only one spot where it was warm enough for my liking. Unfortunately that spot was in a creepy little cave. As soon as Sam said “Don’t think of snakes” I could think of nothing else and that was that. :P Anyway, it was still really lovely to soak and watch the mountains turn pretty colors. Very relaxing after a stressful day of dealing with high concentrations of nitric acid.

Friday: The three of us went to the nearby “city” and poked around downtown a bit. Saw some really evocative artwork and some cool old cars. Then we strolled over to the Greek festival because I really wanted to check it out. The price was right ($3 admittance) and the food was decent. They had dancers and merch and baklava. Much smaller than the Greek festivals of my childhood that had carnival rides and was the first place I remember being allowed to wander off on my own with a fistful of tickets. Regardless, it was Greek and it was fun. And I love watching folk dancers, any kind. I can’t wait until there is a public feast day here, then I can see Native American folk dancing and singing.

Later in the evening I attended my first LAN party. What fun! We played that game from Tron where you’re a motorcycle and you crash real fast. Then we played a game called Drawful. It’s basically a high tech Pictionary. Sam G and I played on a team together because we don’t have smartphones and we made some very vulgar pictures. It was lovely.

Yesterday (Saturday): I drove the boys to the airport. I had my first Waffle House experience. Their waffles were good, their salad was shockingly decent and their customer service was sublime. We made it to the airport in good time and I said my goodbyes. It will be a difficult time without PartnerPenguin for a bit I hope it will be empowering.

Today (Sunday): It is so far not empowering. It is incredibly boring and dull. I did obscene amounts of housework today. I also prepared most of my food for the week, after buying all the groceries. There is so much PartnerPenguin does that I take for granted. I really hope this will strengthen our relationship to acknowledge these items and make sure I thank him regularly for them.

In closing, this song encapsulates how I felt as I cleaned the apartment today. I'm choosing not to show the music video because it's A LOT sadder than how I actually feel. If you're interested, it's kind of a dark/twisted video but it's ok. 

A Little Bit of Heartbreak, a Little Recovery a Little Bit of Career Advancement

Heartbreak:

I have been involved in LGBT rights/activism/discussions since I was at least 15. I wasn’t always sure what I was doing, but I was there and I was loud. June has been rougher than I expected because last year I went to one of the oldest and biggest Pride parades in existence and this year I did nothing.

However, even more painful than missing the parade (which to be honest was super overwhelming) is missing Pride Shabbat. Our home shul (synagogue) was established as an LGBT shul. Pride Shabbat is the second most attended event of the year, after High Holy Days. EVERYONE is there. EVERYONE is so so so so happy to be there. For the past two years, I have been privileged to sing in the choir for this joyous event. One year the Cantor even wore 6in heels and sang “Adon Olam” to Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive”

Missing this Shabbat is far more painful than I anticipated.

But that event isn’t even until next week. This week, I missed another milestone. Our Rabbi (14 years with the congregation) had her last Shabbat as our Rabbi. I’ve had a year and half to contemplate this but it still really really hurt to not be there on her final day as our Rabbi. On the other hand, I am so happy that she will pursue other things and she will continue to be an amazing person to everyone she encounters.

I reasoned with myself throughout the week that these feels were OK to have but it was a good thing that I would be spending time in a National Park so I would have the ability and space necessary to process all of them. In less than a week, I had planned a three-day trip for ten people to go into one of the next states over and camp. I had found enough gear and planned out the meals, I made loose itineraries to multiple National Parks and Monuments so we could see all there was to see.

We were supposed to leave Friday morning. By Thursday morning, as sometimes happens, 6/10 people had to back out due to unforeseen circumstances. The last 4 people and their gear would have had to travel in our hatchback that is roomy but not too big. We decided to discard the whole plan and try another time. Thank goodness for Silicon Valley the show because Thursday night found me a lump.

Recovery:

Friday dawned and I found the world to shockingly still exist. Partner Penguin found a really lovely trail full of aspen trees and metamorphic rocks for us to hike. We spent the day alone together and talked through some emotion stuff as well as some pretty damn silly stuff. In case I haven’t said it in a minute, I love that dude. We even found a lean-to!

Friday night we tried a shul in the nearby “city”. We happened upon a confirmation ceremony and I was actually really impressed with some of the topics the 10^th grade kids talked about. Other than that, it was Jumbo-jet Judaism: “Sit down, strap up and get drawn along for the ride.”

Did I mention I missed my shul?

Saturday a couple we know from TLoTH invited us to go hiking nearby. It was actually a super awesome hike and they are great hiking buddies. It rained nearly the whole time but nobody got cranky-pannies and everyone maintained a steadfast positive attitude. Now we know whom to turn to when we would like companions who will (healthily) help push boundaries on workouts.

Career Advancement:

This week was actually really great, professionally, for me. I discovered that TLoTH’s TEDx deadline was approaching and that any employee could give a talk. I am proud of myself that I whipped together and submitted a damn good proposal in two days. Fingers crossed!!

I am continuing to get feedback on my abstract on my work at Big American University. It looks like many mentor figures at TLoTH are behind me to submit it, along with my research at TLoTH to a conference later this year. I unabashedly sat with my boss’s boss’s boss at a briefing this week. She and I have similar senses of humor and she took some time to talk 1:1 after the briefing.

In my own work, I am taking ownership and writing a bunch. I am writing a report for my project which will hopefully inform peer reviewers and in house folks about what we’re doing and why. And most importantly: is it working? And shall we continue?

I really hope to make a difference with this project but it’s also eye opening as to what other forces are at play in this situation.

And to close out: here is a video that captures some very important points of the LGBTQAII and Pride issues this month.

Storytime

Today, I would like to present a silly allegory I wrote, inspired by someone mispronouncing a word I use regularly; cation. It's usually pronounced "cat ion." I would like to thank my wonderful PartnerPenguin for his marvelous photoshop skills and willingness to participate in my silly schemes.

Before that, I would like to make a quick comment about Ms Caitlyn Jenner. A conversation with a co-worker resulted in his positing that everything regarding Ms Jenner seems attention seeking and unnecessarily over-discussed. I countered with a quote from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: “Gay hasn’t even gotten to Indiana yet.” America is ridiculously large and a lot of people want to talk about this because they have never talked about it before. A lot of people are not aware that gender is a social construct and individuals can manipulate societal perception of themselves, whatever direction they so choose. People do this regularly by wearing makeup, pants, wigs, leather shoes, headdresses, hats and using cell phones. We are an individualistic culture where we define ourselves for ourselves.

The request I would like to ask my readers is just to spend a couple seconds and think about how you define your own gender identity. Is it sufficient that you are a man, or is it important to you that you are also a father? What kind of privileges do you enjoy that you can directly connect to your gender? Maybe contextualize a problem that you may not have known was gender related, like women getting interrupted. I think it’s good to start thinking of these things and talk about them, even if it makes you uncomfortable.

And now for something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!

Sally the SiliCat: A Story of Incompatibility

This is Sally the SiliCat

She is a silica cat-onion living about 2000 km inside the earth in a neighborhood called Harzburgite. Sally lives in a vast sea of other ions. Their bodies are larger than hers. They are all powerfully charged and sometimes unbalanced. They are members of the Ferric, Cupric, MagnesoMeN and Alkali gangs. Sally does not feel welcome in any of these gangs. She occasionally tries touching a bigger ion with her paw but it never lasts long.
   Things have been like this for as long as Sally can remember. She is distantly aware that silica cat-onions like her make up lass than 45% of the population. Silica cat-onions are kept separate from each other by the bigger ions so they cannot talk to each other. But today is different. The air in the chamber is warm and Sally can feel her vibrational energy increasing. The Ferric and MagnesoMeN have redoubled their efforts in bonding together. Much to Sally’s surprise, she starts to float. None of the gangs reach to keep her in Harzburgite and she is filled with terror of losing her home. At the same time, she observes that floating does not bring her any harm. So for now, she floats. Sally floats for a long time. She floats high above her home and for the first time in her little silica life she is brimming with hope. She brownianly moves around the soup she now inhabits. Coming into focus she sees another cat-onion just like her!“Hello!” she yells.“Hello.” He replies. Their paws touch and instantly they know that they are bonded for life. He tells her his name is Carlos and he is from the land of Lherzolite.
 Sally and Carlos spend many years with just the two of them. Gradually, the soup fills with more cat-onions. Eventually, Sally connects with Opal and Amythist on her other two paws. Carlos, Opal and Amythist also connect with other cat-onions on all of their paws.
 Happily, all of the cat-onions call this utopia “Quartz.” The End 

And a song, just for funsies.